- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I agree with PPs – just elope and tell him to cancel everything he planned. If you Future Father-In-Law wants a big, fancy party, then he can pay for it and throw it for himself. Asking for your presents when he thrust so much on you is just breathtakingly rude (to borrow a phrase from another Bee). I would have a hard time not telling my Fiance “I told you so” in this situation, but you should be a better person than I am (Ok, ok, I wouldn’t say it – I’d tell my mom, “I told him so and then it happened! GAH!”).
Ugh! I would tell him to cancel it if he doesn’t want to pay for it, but no WAY is he getting your gifts!
@octoberbaby: What planet is your FIL from? You need to sit down with your Fiance and tell him this is not OK. Your guests will be hurt if they come to your place and don’t see the things they bought you. Of course you are going to be asked if you have used the new blender yet. Then what? You tell them oh we had to give all our gifts to Father-In-Law because he tricked us? No way! Your Fiance needs to stand up to his dad and say no. You should not have to be the one fixing this. Your Fiance needs to fix it.
So at first he insisted he pay to get all these extras and now he is giving you the bill? What the hell?? Have Fiance take to him, you two did not want this and only agreed to it because Father-In-Law said he was paying. If the rules have changed now, everything needs to be cancelled because you will not be paying for it. If he continues to act like a jerk about it, go ahead and kick him in the balls.
@octoberbaby: You tell him to either pay for it or you will elope. Also, PLEASE make sure you have a “gift hostess” to make sure dear Daddy does not walk off with the gifts.
We actually had a Bee whose father stole her wedding gifts as collateral for the wedding then fled the state with them.
Since he planned all this stuff is he the one that booked, as in it’s his name on the contracts? If so that screw him. You have no obligation to pay, legally or socially. If he doesn’t feel like paying he can deal with cancelling stuff.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR GIFTS! People that choose to give you wedding gifts are doing just that: giving YOU gifts. Not Father-In-Law. If they wanted to give money to your Father-In-Law then they would have put his name on the card.
I was hoping this was a joke or a horror story…but I’m guessing it feels very real to you. This is very sad…and it just doesn’t seem like something a father or Father-In-Law would do. I would definitely cancel or call the venue and say that that it was him making the plans and those are not your wishes. I would start from scratch with a new venue, possible a new date, new invitations, everything from scratch so ppl know who’s actually planning the wedding and so that the Father-In-Law gets the hint. Do it your way and you’ll be happy! 🙂
If you do decide to go ahead with the ceremony and reception as they are planned (as opposed to eloping), make sure you have a couple of trusted friends watching the gifts/cards table. Better yet, have them store the goods in their car or something. Make sure to get a cardbox that can be secured. I don’t know your Father-In-Law and don’t mean to offend you by saying he might just flat out steal your gifts, but it’s better to be safe than sorry!
No way in hades would I hand over any money. You communicated what you want and he took it upon himself to go crazy. His bill, his problem.
Um, no. Just no. He needs a big dose of reality
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