(Closed) I am heartbroken and humiliated by my wedding night.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 76
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 77
Member
5212 posts
Bee Keeper

Troll or not, when threads are about something this serious, I always go ahead and assume it’s real. I’d never want someone coming back to a thread like this and not get some helpful advice or kind words because it seems so unbelievable(and ftr, it doesn’t sound that crazy to me).

Now, if you are a regular poster going anon because your Maid/Matron of Honor did a strip tease at the reception and then had a gang bang in the parking lot with the rest of the bridal party? Real or not, I’m not as worried about it.

Post # 78
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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studentloansforlife:  Pretty sure she meant her nightgown. 

This is might be a troll post, but the OP might also have gone on her honeymoon and no longer has easy or unmonitored access to the Internet. I think we should take it seriously. 

Post # 79
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Bridey77:  +1000. Really well said. 

I understand that there are elements to this post that might make people pause to contemplate it’s authenticity, but at the end of the day does it even matter?

I am more than willing to give OP the benefit of the doubt and it doesn’t hurt me in any way, shape, or form to do so. On the other hand, attacking or undermining the trauma experienced by a poster because you have a ‘suspicion’ based on a few paragraphs of text could have a terribly detrimental effect on the person involved. I would rather be duped every single time than risk adding to someone’s distress.

OP: I hope you are doing ok and have found some helpful replies and thoughts in this thread. Sending you my very best.  

Post # 80
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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futurejewell2017:  I have to say I agree with you. If my DH did this out of the blue, I would be terrified but also I would assume it’s a health thing knowing my DH how I do and I would have him see a medical professional. Personally I would not be calling the police but I have never experienced rape or any other kind of sexual assault so for women who have gone through something like this and have any reason whatsoever to think he was conscious, absolutely file a report! Ditto if it ever happens again. The OP should do whatever she needs to do to feel safe.

Post # 81
Member
605 posts
Busy bee

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scaredandconfused:  I’m so sorry this happened. It honestly sounds like he had a night terror. My nana gets them when she eats certain foods and has attacked my papa. 

Your husband needs to go to a sleep clinic. If he honestly has no recollection, he wouldn’t have a problem with it. 

If he refuses to go I think there is a chance that you just saw the real side of him and I would consider going to counseling together. if it comes out that he had been conscious you may want to consider annulment. 

Also, go for counseling alone. 

Post # 82
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee

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Bridey77:  I agree with your thought that maybe someone gave her husband a pill or something at the reception.  I was at a party a couple of years ago and for some unknown reason I had a panic attack.  One of my friends, trying to be helpful, gave me one of her Xanax.  I had never taken Xanax before, and I already had a couple of drinks in me, but I didn’t drink more after that.  A few hours later it hit me and in the middle of the night I went into the garage and started my car and almost drove through the garage door.  I was completely asleep.  Fortunately, my ex woke up and caught me just in time.  So I would not be surprised if something like this happened.

 

Post # 83
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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Anon721:  and @studentloansforlife:

I think she was referring to a nightgown.

Post # 84
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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sept22insf:  Totally agree with everything you said, too.  I know my fi inside and out, and if this sort of thing happened I would know he wasn’t conscious of his actions.  But as you say, if there was the slightest doubt in her mind that he was aware, by all means, get out and get help!

Post # 85
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Are you sure he is not an alcoholic? I know from experience that far off gaze like he doesn’t know you or recognise you and they don’t realise what there doing and they can get quite agressive. No excuse you definitely need to chat with him and tell him what happened especially if he does not remember x Its definitely a violation

Post # 86
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

Where is the OP…

Post # 88
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

I’ve woken up to my guy basically raping me before. He gets touchy in his sleep randomly and I was apprently reacting in a positive way to it, but I woke up to him trying to enter me and I was like WOAH WHAT THE FUCK?! And he just goes huh? all groggy and sleepy eyed. He thought he was dreaming (which I believe as I hear him talk and do other things in his sleep and he tells me what he actually thought was going on at the time) and then we went back to sleep and it never happened again. 

I’m not saying to just forget it and let this go, but I’m saying don’t punish or blame him for this. I mean my incident happened about 2 years ago and I’m over it. I don’t blame him. We talked it out and that was the one and only time it’s ever happened. If he starts getting a little extra touchy at night I just say honey and he’s like hmm what? what happened? Like I needed to tell him something or something. Idk these sorts of things will vary from person to person

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