(Closed) I am here to get hints on finding the right time to ask

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@diane.woodson1:  After 55 years of life, I would like to think that I would be wise and mature enough to realize that I don’t need to wait on a man to tell me what is going to happen with my life. For my Darling Husband and I, marriage was an open conversation. I never worried about if he wanted to marry me or when he would ask. We talked about it.

So if you such great communication, communicate! Ask him where he sees this heading and see if you agree. I’m not sure why you mention being old-fashioned as being a reason to not discuss your future. Plenty of women here (including myself) had surprise engagments but still discussed marriage beforehand.

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@hisgoosiegirl:  agreed. We talked about it early on, because I didn’t see the point in wasting time in a relationship with someone who didn’t have the same intentions and goals as me. We knew we were going to get married, but the engagement was a complete surprise, as was the ring

Post # 5
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree you need to talk to him.  And you do need to ask him what’s on the horizon or if you “have to wait another year or two.”  If marriage is important to you, and he doesn’t see marriage in his future, you should probably know sooner rather than later.

Post # 7
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with others who say you simply need to talk to him about this.  I don’t think marriage should be just one person’s idea – it should be a joint decision since there are 2 parties involved.  

Does he know what YOU want to get married?

Post # 8
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with everyone else, you should just talk with him about this.  Let him know this is what you want and find out where he stands on the issue.  Relationships are partnerships and important decisions are made together.  Marriage is a very important decision and should be discussed out in the open. 

Whatever is important to you, as an individual, is also important, don’t forget. 

You say you’re ok with him not telling you he loves you.  I would not be ok with that, at all.  If someone feels the feelings they should be able to speak out the words, IMO.  Maybe you can help teach him about that.  Unless you’re really ok with him not saying he loves you out loud. 

Talk to him about everything!

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