(Closed) I am hurt and it is all my fault

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@luvlovelovely: Don’t worry about this much, I do that all the time.  My e-mail box is backlogged by about 300 e-mails and if I still used it my SO could easily see every e-mail I ever sent to my ex (if he had the login details, that is).  It just so happened your Fiance still uses his email.  Does he clean his inbox?  Most people don’t clean the Sent folder out so much.  I’m female and I don’t even clean the inbox!

Post # 4
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I really don’t know what to say sweetie, except I read this and I’m sorry you’re down!  Try not to let this get a total grip on you.  Today I can understand, but now try to work on letting it go.  The past is in the past for a reason.

Post # 5
10 posts

@luvlovelovely: I am so sorry that you saw what you saw… Unfortunately, curisousity can get the best of all of us at some time. I have fallen victim to the same thing. But in the end, I have only myself to blame. I went looking for something and I found it. It sounds like your honey really wasn’t trying to hide anything from you, otherwise, why would you even have access to his email? The difference between a mature relationship and a not so mature one can be the difference of a few sappy emails. Maybe he doesn’t write you sonets, but Im sure he shows his appreciation for you in other ways. This too shall pass… Hope you feel better soon 🙂

Post # 8
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Aww, big hugs! Don’t take it too personally, chances are good he wasn’t really hanging onto them  He probably just didn’t think to delete them.  I am horrible at deleting emails.  I’d probably still have emails to exes, even though Fiance and I have been together for 6 yeras, but I got a new email a few years back.

I’m sure it hurts to read those things though, I would probably feel the same way.  But he DOESN’T feel that way about her anymore, and he didn’t feel the same way about her, since he is marrying you 🙂


Post # 9
6246 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Maybe you could talk to him and ask him if he could delete the old emails in front of you… as a symbolic way to show that he only cares about YOU and not someone from the past.  ::hugs::

Post # 11
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@luvlovelovely: You say that he never says any of the stuff to you that he said in the e-mail, but he’s also immediately cleaned it up and is hoping to make you feel better. Sounds like an awesome guy, even if he expresses his love to you differently than a previous gal. 

Post # 12
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@MapleMoose: Nope. Wouldn’t really want you to make a big deal about this. Just reading your post made me realize that I have a lot of emails from my very first love. OVER 10 YEARS AGO. I had them in a saved folder. I don’t ever read them. EVER. But they are there. I think I read one or two of them about 4-5 years ago but that’s it. I don’t know why I still have them but…I feel your pain but from your boyfriend’s point of view, it probably is nothing.

Post # 13
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@luvlovelovely: I’m sorry you read those! I totally know how that is. Even though you’re not mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong, it still hurts. And you can’t help but compare!

Post # 16
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@luvlovelovely: I have no clue. Thankfully, I have been able to avoid learning anything at all about my FH’s most serious ex aside from the fact that she had black and purple hair… which doesn’t matter to me because my hair is better anyway! (There I go again with the comparing, hahah!)

I used to feel that way about my exbf’s exgf. When we first got together, he would talk about her ALL THE TIME, so naturally I would compare. It was awful! And we had the same name, so that made it more annoying for some weird reason.

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