I am in early 30s and still virgin

posted 2 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 2
65 posts
Worker bee

34, still a virgin. I had my first kiss six months ago. Nothing to be ashamed of. I think the idea of being ashamed to be a grown up virgin is typically a Western (European-American ) idea. Just like you, I don’t belong to any of those cultures. 

You surely know that being an aged virgin is a pride rather if you don’t belong to those cultures.

Post # 3
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of but also nothing to be proud of. I’m European and one close female friend was a virgin till her mid-20s and a male friend in his early 30s is also a virgin. There might be groups of people who think it’s weird but I think it’s just a personal choice that needs to be respected.

Post # 4
1411 posts
Bumble bee

I like a previous poster don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of, but I also don’t think it’s something special either.

If you want to only have sex with someone who you are in love with and plan to spend your life with, that’s great. But there is also nothing wrong with having sex just for the fun. In the west sex has become accepted as something that is not shameful or sacred, so more people are freely making the decision to enjoy it before marriage. But there are also people in the west who make the decision to wait until marriage.

Post # 5
1946 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

There is nothing to be ashamed in being a virgin. Both my husband and I lost our virginity on our wedding night. Embrace your virginity once it’s gone you won’t get it back wait for the right person and the right time for you

Post # 6
2799 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Agree with PP’s, being a virgin is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, or proud of. Its just really not a big deal either way, merely a personal choice. Some day you will lose your virginity and then you won’t think anything of it anymore. 

Post # 7
1371 posts
Bumble bee

I actually know people in their 40’s who are still virgins.  They just haven’t found the one to be with yet and not interested in a one-night stand.  Again, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Losing your virginity will happen when you want it to happen.  And hopefully with someone you want to do it with.

Post # 8
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I lost mine when I was 36 and I am western. Waiting was often very hard, but for me it was worth it.

I am not ashamed to have been a virgin for so long, but nor is it something I’d shout about. But if asked, I’d tell the truth. I believe from doctor’s appointments that older virgins are more common than you’d think.

Post # 9
23 posts

I’m not religious nor do I have a strict culture, but I didn’t want to have sex with somebody I didn’t love- not necessarily waiting until marriage, just waiting until I really truly loved and connected with somebody. I did find that person and we plan to get married. I don’t really relate to today’s casual sex culture. I would respect that you feel a similar way! 

Post # 10
712 posts
Busy bee


Post # 11
712 posts
Busy bee

No, it’s something to be proud about. 

Post # 12
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

rinko21 :  no don’t ever be ashamed. It’s a blessing you’re still a virgin. Hold on to that as long as you can cause if it’s taken from you before you’re married with someone you love and trust and cherish, it wrecks you mentally and emotionally. It’s scarring. Truly. The worst thing ever. Good for you you’ve kept it this long!!!!!!! 

Post # 13
378 posts
Helper bee

No… You should not be ashamed for making such a personal decision. For as much as I think someone should not be ashamed for making the decision to have sex, you should not be ashamed for making the decision not to.

Post # 14
8449 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

serickson711 :  

If you are talking about rape l understand and agree that those can be the terrible consequences. But if you are referring to merely having had sex with someone who turned out not to be The One then your comment is rather seriously OTT.

Physical virginity is not some sort of magical talisman which ensures the moral superiority of its possessor.

Post # 15
907 posts
Busy bee

I was a virgin until my late 20s and I just could not find the right person to have sex with. I really didn’t want to do it until I was sure I was with the right person. And I’m from San Diego, California!! Very western :). Although I was happy with my myself and my choices, I definitely felt weird about it when dating someone new because there’s an expectation that you’ve had sex at a certain age, or that you’re going to be willing to have sex with a dude after a certain number of dates. Luckily my fiancée was incredibly understanding, totally accepted me, and I knew when the time was right. It’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a choice that you make for yourself and no one can tell you you’re wrong when you make a choice about something so personal. 

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