- 6 years ago
I need some help in regards to my mothers’ behavours.
After much reading about mothers whom are manipulative. I am starting to wonder if anyone else thinks My mother is also manipulative.
AS of recantly I have been starting to reduce time spent with my brother and mom. Her boyfriends brother was in town for the past two weeks and I havent had much time to spend with them. She told me that her boyfriends brother was wondering if I was jealous that he was spending more time with my mother and her boyfriend. The real problem is that I have had little time to spend with anyone now that i am in career counselling. The past 2 years I have notices her over talking me by either cuttingme off before I finish my sentance. Or just lying to me about what I tell her.
One instance is that I have recantly been fired illigally from my job by a manipulative manager. My mom once told me that he appeared calm after he accused me of stealing. When I spoke to her about his behavour she told me that he is the manager and he needs to see if people are not being short on the till. I had already told her that I have never been short on my till and Never stole money from the company. And yet she seemed to have taken sides with him. She tells me about her dismay over his behavour. Yet she continues to shop there for booze she can get from a liqour store in which is closer to her home.
She also shares stories of other peoples behavours without even asking the people to share their personal stories. Recantly my brothers friend spoke to my mom about money in which helent out to a family friend, he asked her not to speak to anyone about it. Yet she told me about the story. The story was true. But she still speaks about what other people are doing behind closed doors. I no longer want to hear about these stories which is why I have minimized the time with her.
Last night was one of those nights in which she accused me of being depressed and maybe I need ant depressants. Over the years I have repeated to her I am not depressed and I am not suicidal.
For years I have spoke to her about my brothers’ abusive behavour and how he constant need to use me for my money. Now we have been apart for 3 years she has been making subtle progress to move closer to her and my brother. The reason is that she doesnt like driving to far late at night to drop me at my own home. Thats why she prefers me to be in walking distance. She never wants to hang out when I have time she only wants me to hang out with me when she wants and has time for.
Over the past 2 years she has told me that maybe my brother drinks and raps because he feels guilty for his behavour. He has subsiqently gotten angry at me for not paying his share of the bills and spending my half of the rent on booze. And continuously let his friends live in our apartment for free on multiple occasions.over the past 3.5 years I noticed her hinting that my brother has made progress in not drinking. All of a sudden she tells me he still spends multiple amount of money on booze. He has continuously made more money over the past decade then I will in my life. And Now she tells me that I have to feel sorry for her and him. I told her I wanted to be part of the arts. Musician and Actor. She has made accusations the reason I wantes to do that is because I want to be a star. And I am rebelling against my Dad whom I have ever seen since my highschool graduation 12 years ago. Yes he as never paid CHid support. And Now my mom tells me that I should fell sorry for her because He has never done so when they devorced. Problem was that my grandmother has subsiqently told her that my Dad will never change his behavour. ANd my mother Refused to listen to her. And now my mom wants me to pay attention to every thing I tell her.
One night a few years back I she told me that i should reachout to my brother, although he continues to spend money being a lifeless boozer. At 30 I have no more interest in being his friend or neighbor. Especially when people including my mom have told me to change the people around me.
For 2 years in a row, my brother inappropriatly touched me against my will. And WHen I told my mother 6months after the 2nd time which was the reason the result of an anxiety attack which resulted in me causing company damage. She told me that she didnt see it happen and he did it because I was fat and that I need to go to church and take medication.I was relly upset at the fact she told me this. When I reported both incidents to the cops they just called it my imagination.
During this past tax season she invitedme over to do taxes with her. When I left because I did not wish to listen to her constant naging. She told me my sudden behavour was typical A.D.D behavour.
She has continuosly for the past decade spoke to me as if I have some mystical Handicap and that I am 6 years old. SHe constantly accuses me of suffering depression and telling me that I cant manage my money. Even though she spends more money Then I do on any given holliday. She spends has constantly tells me that she is changing her eating habits. Problem is at 55 she still eats the same way she did 25 years ago. She tells me that she has a gym pass and shes going to go to the gym. Yet she has not even attended the gym since she was in university.
Like my brother, She Tells me that I need to change my behavours.
I need some help.