(Closed) I am insecure round family. Including my mother.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like your relationships with both your brother and mother are not healthy. I think you are right to distance yourself from them as much as possible. Even by moving miles away. It sounds like they do not offer you anything positiive in your life. I’m sure you want the love of your family and you deserve that, but honestly, it sounds like that has been very challenging to get from them. This is not your fault. Try to focus on what you can control and try and surround youself wtih caring people. These people can be friends or other extended family. I am fortunate to have a close family, but I do have many friends who have highly disfunctional families and while I’m sure they still hurt inside sometimes about it, they have made a family of their own in a new town, by making close friends and starting families of their own. They have built a positive life for themselves this way. Also, if you can afford it or if you can find free or cheap counseling, I would seek it out if I were you to help you figure out what is best for you.

Post # 5
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Dyintolive:  Yes, your mother is very manipulative and mentally & emotionally abusive to you.  She told you that you were sexually abused by your brother because you were fat?…  That is so hurtful and horrible!  So she both denied it happened and blamed it on you so she is admitting it happened.  I suggest you slowly cut her out of your life, even if it means not confiding in her, when she says horrible things on the phone cut the conversation short, even with an excuse, say I have to go.  She will soon learn you wont keep talking to her if she says things like that.  I did not suffer sexual abse but grew up in an emotionally abusive and sometimes physical abusive home.  Even years after my parents have said things I still repeat them to myself, so I need to concentrate on breaking these thoughts.  This is one reason I am child free. I agree with the bee above, this is disfunctional behaviour.  I distanced myself from my family for a while, and I still do not or will not have a close relationship with my parents.  I am pleasant but I never confide in them. They lost that right the way they treated me, and I know they have minimised it in their minds how they treated me.

Post # 7
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Dyintolive:  yes, im in my mid 30s and it still hurts if I tihnk about it, but I tihnk about it less and less.

The topic ‘I am insecure round family. Including my mother.’ is closed to new replies.

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