(Closed) i am just so stressed out- vent :*( long…. sorry :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry….

I don’t really know what to say. I would suggest talking to your Fiance about being overwhelmed, but it seems you already tried that. Maybe you could make a to do list listing chores for each of you and ask your FI’s opinion on it. You both may have to compromise on a couple of things, but at least things would be divided out. Make sure to list things like work and school hours too. It will help to see who is available when to do each chore, and then maybe schedule a date night in there somewhere.

Post # 4
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

First, breath.

Second, make a list of everything that needs to be done in the next week. Put it on a schedule. Include school, work, gym, cleaning, repairs, etc. Then sit down with Fiance and sort out who is going to do what and exactly when. I always find tasks are much easier to handle once I have a plan of attack.

Finally, take an hour of time for yourself besides Zumba. Take a bath, read a book, whatever will take your mind off of your situation for the moment. Allow yourself to scream and cry if you need to. Then pick yourself up and accomplish those tasks.

 

I know what it is like to be so insanely stressed with your world spinning out of control and so much is piling up nothing gets accomplished. So let yourself have your me time, make your plan of attack, and relax once it is all done πŸ™‚

 

PS. After you feel like you’ve played catch-up, I would make a “chore chart” and separate the house duties by day/person. Also, if he doesn’t take care of his tank, even after you set our chore responsibilities, I would make it all “mysteriously disappear” 

Post # 5
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We all have those moments when you look around and it seems like your world is just coming apart.  When I went thru college I had two baby boys, a house, and worked 35 hours a week to pay bills.  My house was a wreck at times but i just kept telling myself “this is temporary”.  My husband at one point had a dog, a gecko, fish, a tortoise, and a bearded dragon all of which he could not possibly take care of.  You cant sweat the small stuff.  You have a man that loves you, two dogs willing to lick your face until you laugh, and an amazing hour to zumba!  I hope you feel better and things always look better after ice-cream.

Post # 7
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

LOL!! I should switch to frozen yogurt too.  Im so glad your feeling better.

Post # 8
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@stephanie63087: Steph, just stop!  Seriously.  Nothing is that important.  What would it hurt to leave the kitchen and pick up where you left off.  

The one lesson in household management I learned from my mom was a what NOT to do.  Mom would get overwhelmed with “stuff”.  Resentment would build and suddenly everything would piss her off.  I swore never to overreact to things that I could overlook.  Tonight, he cooked, and left the kitchen in a major mess…then fell asleep.  I ventured into the kitchen, packed the leftovers into the fridge, moved the mess to the sink, then took my shower, and came to chat with you guys.  Not stressing at all.

 

It’s not worth it kiddo!  Your plate is already full and you’re doing an awesome job juggling.  Most of the other items are money related which is the number one way to drive yourself crazy with worry.  Do what you can and let the rest go mentally.  Prioritize and deal with things one at a time. 

and BREATHEEEEE πŸ™‚  

Post # 9
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@stephanie63087: I know how it feels to have a lot on your plate. Just try to relax. Sometimes I feel like I have so much responsibility and its little things like dishes, sweeping, or even cooking that get me down. When I used to feel like this I turned into a serious person and shut down.

My SO started to notice this when we first moved in together and he asked me what was wrong. I told him how I felt and that there was all this responsibility on me to keep things together. I told him how all these thoughts about taking care of things run through my mind and cause me to shut down. After I told him this he said tell me what needs to be done and we will take care of it together. Some things can wait, but others I feel like need to be done right away, my SO is always willing to help. Talk to your SO and tell him you are stressed and need his help. Take Care and feel better.

Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Now add a kid to what you just described and you’ve been married for 3 years πŸ™‚

Everyone’s life is like this at times (sometimes all the time) I have had the same exact breakdowns and freakouts. Plus when everything is going wrong and the house is a mess it makes me feel crazy like my whole entire life is a mess, when really it’s just the living room.  It’s all good. Deep breaths.

Post # 12
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i know exactly how you feel! to-do lists and delegating chores to fi should be your best friends.

and it DEFNITELY helps to have a mini-meltdown once in awhile! don’t feel bad about that!

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