- 4 years ago
Some of you may remember that I posted a couple of weeks ago saying that my SO and I were going on holiday and I was certain that he wasn’t going to propose and I was scared that I would get upset and it would ruin the holiday.
Anyways, we landed yesterday and he did not propose and I did not get upset, I did not let it ruin our holiday, I just enjoyed myself! *feeling proud*
I must admit it was tough, especially as I thought he was going to at one point. Years ago before we were together my ex broke up with me and I was in serious moping mode and we jokingly made a £50 bet that I wouldn’t end up a spinster. Anyways, we were sitting in this really romantic location and he said “So when are you going to give me that £50 you owe me?” I replied with “I can’t give it to you yet, can I?” and then he gave me this look and said “Come over here” and we walked around the gardens.
It was made even harder by the fact that whilst we were away a close friend of his got engaged on her birthday after 6 weeks and having only know each other 2 months. (Queue green eyed monster and self-doubt thoughts of ‘What’s wrong with me – still waiting 4.5 years later and she has it after so small a time).
But I thought f**k it! We haven’t been on a proper holiday for 3 years and probably won’t for a while so I carried on smiling and enjoying it. No he didn’t propose but we still had a great and lovely time.
I decided that I could either have a good time or I could mope around and ruin it for both of us. As well as effectively ruining any future holidays because if I threw a tantrum he would feel the pressure for the next holiday we booked.
So feeling very proud of myself!
Just hoping the ‘good feeling’ won’t be spoiled by the dreaded – “So did he..?” questions. Several people kept saying to me before we went that it was possible. Now just wondering how many people will ask if he did and hoping it won’t spoil/make me feel inadequate.
Thanks to all you Bees for your support over my holiday 🙂