(Closed) I am legally married and thinking of having a small christian ceremony

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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mrschereoke :  hi there welcome! Ok first off- yes you may get negative comments but honestly if there’s something I have learned (I’m in a similar situation) is that you can’t care what people hino or say. Like my mother in law says, you only live once, screw the negative comments and do whatever you want!!! 

Since the church does not recognize legal marriages I’m sure this is something you can do a Christian marriage. Now depending on your church their may be some requirements before you can (example in a Catholic Church you would have to go to confession etc..)

Post # 3
Member
2412 posts
Buzzing bee

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mrschereoke :  This happens all the time, and I understand how you are feeling. 

As long as your DH is on board you may wish to consult with a clergy person to find out how you should proceed.

I can’t think why anyone that really cares for you would criticize what you propose to do, but I also think that it isn’t a bit necessary to “explain” to anyone but your nearest /dearest what you plan to do either. 

BLESSINGS, and hopes that you find joy and confidence in your decision making!

Post # 4
Member
3802 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

The backlash here is generally when a couple is legally married and later have a big wedding without disclosing that, and bees can see it as lying to their guests. This is different as you aren’t trying to pretend you’re not legally married and only your parents are involved anyway. I don’t have experience with it but if it will help you then go for it. I did go to a full catholic mass wedding recently that was 1.25 hours long and afterwards I thought, gosh, they’re thoroughly married now!πŸ˜‚

Post # 7
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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mrschereoke :  You can have a blessing of your marriage which doesn’t change the status of the previous ceremony but it just recognises your marriage in the eyes of God.

I personally knew prior to even getting engaged that having a Church wedding was important to me and as DH was indifferent/without faith then we got married in a Church.

How does your husband feel about having another ceremony?

Post # 9
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I totally understand the part about vows going by so quick is doesn’t feel “official.” DH and I eloped so the actual ceremony was very quick, probably five minutes total. It took me a while to feel “married” but that feeling comes in time! A moto I always say is: it’s the marriage that matters, not the wedding. However if you choose to still do a traditional ceremony you are not alone. I am going to three “weddings” this year for people who are already married. One was a couple who had a quick ceremony before the husband was deployed to Afghanistan and now want a tradition wedding and reception, another for a cousin who got married after finding out her cancer had returned but still kept her original wedding plans, and a third for people who had a private wedding and now want the big white wedding. People seem to judge no matter option you choose, so you just do you and be happy with whatever decision you make. 

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