(Closed) I am losing my best friend… (long)

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry that this is happening to you! I dont really know what to say…thats craziness! Like you said…if she cuts off communication with you then maybe you and your 2 other BFFs need to pay her a visit…as a last resort…at least you know that you did everything that you could have done. But in the end…this was her decision…and you may just loose her to it…and it sucks 🙁

Post # 5
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

OMG Virginia! That is really scary! I don’t understand what “supernatural ministry” means. I know what an exorcism is, and that they do happen, and I am a Christian so I do believe in the healing power of God and I do believe in miracles but what your friend is into sounds VERY kooky, and not like any Christian ministry I’ve ever heard of. I am so sorry she is into this cult (because I truly believe that’s what it must be) and I hope she can break free of it before it destroys her life! I wish you and your other two friends the best of luck in getting across to her and I hope for her safe return home and to a normal happy life.

Post # 6
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m really sorry.  Honestly, I don’t know how much help you can really be to her.  If this is a real cult-like group, it is possible that she has been brainwashed enough that it will be hard to get her out of that.  But it will be worth your piece of mind for the three of you to go there and try everything that you possibly can.

Post # 7
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

im curious to know what her family said about all these?? have you talk to her family? are they concern? 

i have seen a lot of documentaries about cults and all these things are scary, i also have see how family decided to get the person out of the cult (like a kidnapping) i know it sound harsh but that is what i have seen. 

i dont even know what to tell you, just i hope your friend can open her eyes and realize what she is doing. 

i feel for you.

Post # 8
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Virginia-my moms brother and sister joined a church that is similar to a cult…my mom and my grandfather are the only two that were not sucked in…they try to convert us all the time…they go to church everyday…sometimes twice a day…have chants at their houses after church and try to convert everyone in sight (like me). The girls and women are not allowed to wear shorts or pants and they cannot socialize or marry outside of the church. The worst part is that they donate tons and tons of money to the “leader” and no one really knows where the money is going but they just trust him with it. They have been part of it for 10 yrs now…and we just try to stay away from the as they are very judgemental and…strange honestly. they have learnt to put the church before everything…and when my grandmother got very ill they went to church instead of taking her to the hospital…again church before everything. SO what I am saying is…I have some experience with this sort of situation and honestly there is nothing you can do or say to help…either they have to realize it on their own…or the cult/church has to unravel somehow…

Post # 8
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wow, crazy story and I am SO sorry this is happening to you (and your friend).  I don’t really know what to say, but I do know that YES, there are a lot of people that just walk away from cults (I actually started doing research on cults last summer after watching two seasons of Big Love nonstop and being really intrigued, heh).  I think your friend will benefit from the fact that her cult doesn’t seem to ask its members to do life-threatening things, doesn’t perform human sacrifices, etc.–right?  So she is either going to spend her lifetime in that cult or she is going to wake up and realize that it’s insanity.  If she is your age (24, says your profile?), she’s still plenty young, and young people often do really crazy stuff.  Did she go to college?  I know a lot of people who graduated college and then got involved in some really questionable stuff for a few years because they didn’t feel like they’d figured out what they wanted to do with their lives via the ‘typical’ path, so feeling like they didn’t fit into what mainstream America was expecting of them, tried out a bunch of various ‘alternative’ lifestyles.  Does this sound at all like your friend?  Everyone I know who’s done this is now living a much more normal, healthy life, but it took about 3-8 years for them to get their youthful uncertainty out, I guess.

I think MissAsB is right that your attempts at intervention probably won’t get very far.  She’s probably been brainwashed to believe that whatever people outside the cult believe or tell her is misguided and that you all haven’t seen the truth as the cult members have…it’ll just look like you’re trying to undermine her faith (I’m sure everyone has seen this attitude from members of religious sects that aren’t even classified as ‘cults’).  But again, you are fortunate that she is so young.  She might wake up yet…or, as Ms. Teddy said, the church might unravel or be broken up by police or whatever and after some time she will realize that she was in fact involved in a cult.

Post # 9
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so very sorry for you. At this point it seems like, beyond reaching out to her once or twice…maybe once before and once after the wedding…there won’t be a lot that can be done on your part. I’m sure you have seen the footage of cults and usually the first thing they can is a full commitment to the “cause” and sometimes this includes cutting all others out (like your friend has said to you). Maybe you, with your other friends, could right her a letter so that she could turn to it again and again, hopefully reading it for what it was after the first time which will inevitably be in anger and annoyance.

Have you spoken to her family members about this? Has she been involved in your wedding planning…maybe that would be a chance to communicate with her before she is too far gone.

My best advice is try so that you know you did the most you possibly could and in the end, unfortunatly, it is her choice and she may make the heartbreakingly wrong one.

Post # 12
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well I hope your friend ends up like my Future In-Laws. Long before I met them they were in this church that went downhill and kind of turned into a cult. But, eventually, my Future In-Laws woke up and realized that the cult was unreasonable and crazy. Now you’d never know they were in this church – they are now basically atheists. It can happen – fingers crossed it does for you.

I have a friend who is into some really spiritual stuff that I don’t understand, but I guess I’m lucky she’s still pretty normal and we can still find other things to talk about. It’s good that you’re trying to stay connected, but like everyone else has said telling her the ministry is crazy will probably strain your friendship to the breaking point that much faster. The more she has to come back to, the more likely she is to come back to “normality”.

Post # 13
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t have anything to add, but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and your friend! Unfortunately, I think that you have done everything that you can to help your friend and support her. I hope that she can someday see the reality of her situation and get out of it. Maybe you can let her know that you and your other two friends are there for her no matter what, even if she cuts off communication completely, let her know that you will help her if she ever needs it. I guess let her know that your door is always open.

It’s interesting to hear you talk about super natural ministry because I never knew what it was, but I now understand that my cousin is into the same stuff. My cousin is about 20 years older than me, unmarried etc… She really got into religion in college and has taken a lot of ministry trips over the years. The last one that she took to Africa she would send out update e-mails to all her friends and family in the U.S. She would write things such as “performed a miracle today through God and now a blind man can see” etc… It did not go over well with my family. They all thought she was into some bad stuff. I am not sure if she is still involved in this type of stuff, but she lives back in the U.S. now, holds a job, but I know she attends one of those big super churches. 

Post # 15
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@virginiamarie- I see my cousin probably 2-4 times a year at family events (she lives 4 hours from me.) She seems to not have gone completely into this super natural ministry stuff, but I would call her fundamentalist if nothing else.

I don’t have any problems with Christianity or people being religious, but this type fo stuff seems over the top to me. It’s also why my family was upset and concerned for her during that missions trip.

The topic ‘I am losing my best friend… (long)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors