First and foremost… (( HUGS )) because I can tell from your post that you are filled with so many raw emotions right now…
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The obvious thing is the two of you need to do a lot more talking about this issue.
It has to be fully out in the open… and he needs to be dead honest with you.
I’d start by telling him you are now hurt and suspicious that what he has done (entry on phone) and told you (it’s nothing… not WHO, WHAT etc you think…) don’t match up (from what you can see he’s lied)
Tell him the TRUST is broken… maybe even outright GONE.
And so will be you… if he doesn’t come clean 100%
Trust is THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT in a Marriage… if you don’t have that, then you don’t have anything (no marriage for sure)
Trust can be rebuilt but it is very very difficult, and takes TONS of work … and usually a whole lot of VERY EXPENSIVE Marriage Counselling. And even then there is no promise, that you will not forever be in the H#LL of self-doubt and being suspicious about your partner (not how any one wants to live their life, let alone enter a marriage)
Honestly, IF you don’t get the answers you need… or don’t like the ones you do get, then you need to get out NOW.
Sure it sucks, breaking an Engagement (hassle of cancelling the Wedding), and giving up the life the two of you have established as a couple (a home)…
BUT as an Encore Bride, I can tell you that it is a zillion times better than being married to THE WRONG GUY. Someone who is NOT DESERVING of you. A life filled with heartbreak, and a marriage that is phoney, isn’t fun at all And way more difficult to break off / get out of (Divorces REALLY SUCK… and cost tons of money etc… and the emtional effects / damage is far more devastating)
YES much better to do it NOW if need be…
Lady Di (Princess Diana) should have NOT listened to her Sister (MOH) just before her wedding to Prince Charles, when Di was having second thoughts, having become suspicious of Chuck & Camilla…
Her Sister said… “Too Late Now… your face is already on the Tea Towels” (a reference to all the Pre Royal Wedding media hype, and the many souvenirs)
Diana should have trusted her gut instinct… and called the thing off right there and then (oooh could you imagine the scandal tho ?). BUT in the end the fair dear would have been much much better off.
Don’t set yourself up for a life of heartbreak… get to the bottom of this whole affair (possible pun)… NOW
BEFORE you walk down the aisle.
If you never TRUST him again is one thing… but DO PUT TRUST in yourself and your women’s intuition… us gals have it for good reason !!
Hope this helps,
EDIT TO ADD (as I’ve just read their replies)
Good info here from joya_aspera: and sportsgal31: . Escorts ARE NOT Strippers. They are a fancy name for a Prostitute…
Sure they may be part of what is going on for the upcoming Bachelor Party… but you can read any of the countless heartbreaking stories here on WBee about Brides-2-B that have discovered WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS IN THE PLANS, and WHAT ACTUALLY WENT DOWN (another bad pun) at their Finace’s Bachelor Party were two vastly different things.
(Don’t get me started on how men call all this “activity” innocent fun… or pass it off as “just strippers”… when there is soooo much more going on. IF ONLY more women knew more about “strippers” and how they tie into the Sex Trade)
As for breaking trust… YES the part where fellow women chastise a girl for “snooping” further after truly finding out something (a REASON TO BE SUSPICIOUS) is beyond me. No reason to snoop… then fine the argument that snooping is poor behaviour is a valid one. BUT find out something “inappropriate” (or even possibly so) about your guy… then the TRUST IS ALREADY IN QUESTION (by the other person’s role in the event)… so it is fair game to snoop / ask Questions / find proof etc.