(Closed) I am moving. I haven't told my SO yet! HELP *crying*

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3387 posts
Sugar bee

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e11a:  First off, I would tell your SO, he’s there to support you, and it sounds like you could use some support.  

When I decided to move 7 hours away from my then-BF, now-FI, I was upset.  We had been dating for a long enough time that we both decided that the two years of long distance were worth it.  There are definitely hard days to long distance, but for the most part it isn’t unbearable.  I look forward to our time together, and counting down until we won’t be long distance anymore.  We make it a point to see each other every 3-4 weeks for a long weekend, and we talk every day on the phone.  He writes me a weekly love letter, and that helps a lot, too.  

The bottom line is, only you and your SO can decide if your relationship is worth the long distance.  If he truly is someone that you can’t imagine your life without, then I say give it a shot.  Several of my friends are married to their long-distance college boyfriends — it’s not an impossible task.

Post # 3
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

Well. It’s not great and I can understand being upset about it but the fact is, this is a very ordinary, unremarkable thing to occur in one’s life. There will always be something like this that requires communication, compromise and plain old acceptance. 

Once you are married, one of you might get a job offer that requires a move clear across the country. Will you take it? Will one of you give up a job you love to follow the other? Is there some way you can make it work long distance?

you see? This is not the first time you will deal with theses kinds of ‘problems’. This is good practice for you two. A chance to see if you’re capable of coming to mutually satisfying agreements while having the maturity to realize that things aren’t always going to be super easy and fun. Sometimes, it’s going to be shitty circumstances and you have no option but to push through it.

Post # 4
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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e11a:  I have t admit some confusion, here. If you are in your twenties, whya re your parents dictating where you are moving? I’m not sure where you live, but many universities have excellent programs in very different kinds of fields. For example, the university I went to had an excellent visual arts program, but is also the top medical school in the state. So, I’m not quite sure why you can’t work something out to be near one another, even at different schools. (My campus hosted 2 universities and 1 college).

Post # 5
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You need to break away from your parents at age 20 even if it means being financially on your own. Where would you like to study if you didn’t have to take parents or SO into account? As PP have said, maybe you could go to different schools in the same town. Good luck, your parents will get over it!

Post # 6
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Your education is one the biggest, and usually the best investment you will make in yourself. It is such a unique and wonderful time, you will learn about yourself, the world, as well as further study into your chosen career. That has to be priority. With that said, I know a few people who went separate schools far from each other and made it work. Some broke up for a while in college, some managed long distance. My high school boyfriend went to school in chicago and I went to one in St. Louis, only a 3-4 hour drive. We made it work for a while until he dropped out and became a homeless drug dealer. It is possible, unless he goes that route of course, don’t give up hope.

Post # 7
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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theatrejulia:  +1. Education first. I would never compromise that for anything. If you and your SO are meant to be, you two will find a way to work it out and what will be, will be. 

Post # 8
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

You must do the right thing for your future. IF the relationship is right, you will make it through a separation. That’s how you’ll know if he’s truly “the one,” or if it’s like most high school relationships where it really feels like the one but then you realize you have different priorities and plans once you’re out in the world. Good luck.m

Post # 10
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Could he not look at the school you have chosen? I feel like you should be able to discuss these things….

Post # 11
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Tell your SO asap. He needs to know and adjust to the idea so you both have time to think about it and figure it out. You can always do long distance, skype, text, and visit each other during spring break and holiday. If this love is true and strong, 3 Years will seem like nothing!  Cheer up, everything will go just fine.

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