Post # 1
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
So after a few months of going back and fourth, my husband and I decided to start trying for a baby in three months so that I can give birth during the summer. This will be his first. I am so nervous because my girls are 18 and almost 11. I was only 16 when I had my first and I am more scared now then I was back then. I am so use to coming and going. Sleeping as long as I want and just having me time. I dont know if I am ready to start all over again. I feel like I dont have what it takes anymore. I am 35 and feel like I am to old. We are both 35 years old.
Are there any bee’s out there who have had kids with such big gaps and how did you manage?
Post # 3
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
My SIL/BIL have a 17 yr old (BIL step child) and together they have a 3 yr old and a 3 week old child. They manage pretty well though, do have to say the 17 yr old is rather resentful because he is expected to help take care of his siblings or act like the parent sometimes. When as a 17 yr old he rather hang out with his buddies or actually do school stuff (he is a smart 17 yr old) and mom and step dad rely on him way to much for babysitter role.
Post # 4
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
I have a 14yo and a 7mo. Some days are easier than others. My eldest adores his little brother and he is a big help if I need him to watch the baby for a few minutes if I need to do something. I also have two step children who are going to be 9 and 10. All of the kids adore their younger brother.
My eldest will be going to college and my youngest will be going into kindergarten. I have a high maintenance baby and there are days when he is easier to handle then my teen, but he is a teen so that is to be expected…lol. It’s also a great deterrent for my eldest. He has decided he desn’t want any kids anytime soon…lol
As for my time to myself, well when I need some me time I let my husband know I need it and take a few for myself.
Post # 5
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
I don’t have as much of a gap. My son is 5. But that already feels like a huge gap to me. He’s been out of diapers for so long, he’s getting very independant, it’s so much easier now than infancy. To be honest, I really don’t like the baby stage. Toddlerhood is so much better and childhood is even better than that!
We are TTC right now too. I dont know what to tell you other than to be sure you really want this. that you are 100% ready for another 18+ year commitment. take care!
Post # 6
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
Thank you ladies, I know that once I am pregnant and once the baby is born, any worries will vanish. When we do have a baby, I have made it a goal not to make my 18 year old a part time mommy. I want her to enjoy being young and have fun.
I do want this, especially because my husband is so wonderful and I want to share that wonderful experience with him. I have been a mom for 18 years, half of my life. I never knew what it was like to just come and go but I also know the joy that comes from a new baby. I was a single mom so long that I forget that I wont be doing this alone. You know what I mean?
Post # 7
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
You’re so right. I have to remind myself too that this time it won’t be me doing it ALONE. I will have someone by my side and that will be a huge difference.
Good luck!
Post # 8
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
Yes, with my girls I struggled and now I am married to a wonderful, responsible man. He is my rock and this should make this experience wonderful. I am so use to doing it alone but I wont this time. 🙂
Post # 9
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
@Mrs.Jansen: I was terrified when I got pregnant. Not of having a baby but it is a little scary starting over. I too make a concious effort not to turn my son into another parent. He might watch his brother briefly but we are always nearby. My youngest is a fussy baby, he has gotten better, but there were many nights where we have been up with him. That was the deterrent I was speaking of. My youngest was colicky, so sleep for a few months was a cherished commodity…lol. I think that was the hardest part for me, the fact that my 2nd was so different from my 1st.
I was a single mom the first time as well and my husband is great with the baby and it is great to be able to turn to him when I need him. That makes a huge difference in being able to share the responsibility.
Post # 10
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
@StormyRose: I know what you mean. I will miss my sleep dearly. lol