(Closed) I am not looking forward to planning my wedding at all.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Is eloping an option?  Or is it possible for you to try and shoulder most of the wedding costs?  If you are paying for most of it she can’t complain.  I understand right now you’re still a student, but is there the possibility?  Maybe you can cut your budget by DIYing etc.

Sorry you have to deal with this, it totally sucks when people don’t realize it’s YOUR day and YOUR vision >_<!!

Post # 5
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

If the money comes with strings attached (Mom making all the decisions) I would do something small that doesn’t require financial help.

Do what you and your Fiance can afford.

Post # 7
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe putting together a wedding board to help your mom visualize what you guys want would help her warm up to the ideas?

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My mom paid for our wedding and she did make things really difficult when we 1st started planning. The first thing to do would really be to try and have a heart to heart. It may not completely fix all of your disagreements but it may make things a touch better. You haven’t even officially started planning yet so I would say take it a step at a time and approach calmly. I know when I approach my mom with a heart to heart and express myself calmly and without getting defensive she backs off a lot and is more understanding. 

Post # 9
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I don’t think my approach is the right way, but I would most likely quit telling her things about the wedding, atleast until she realized why or asked you why. Your mom paying for the wedding should be a gift, not an ultimatum to do things her way. Besides, she’s already had her turn planning her own wedding. 😡 

 

Post # 11
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I just wanted to chime in to say that I sympathize. I was initially VERY excited to plan my wedding, until I realized that my Future Mother-In-Law is going to hijack most of it. My Fiance has told me things like we’re doing hor d’oevres ourselves instead of having it catered with the rest of the food and having cupcakes instead of a cake….things I definitely was not involved in deciding…his mom was. And he definitely isn’t going to support me against her, so it’s not worth fighting against, so I give up.

I hope things work out with your mom. Maybe since it’s your mom, you’ll feel more comfortable talking to her than I do talking to his mom.

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