Post # 1
Dear Future Mother-In-Law,
I am not trying to steal your son away from you! I am not trying to compete for his love and I could care less about doing better than you or having a better dinner than you, washing clothes better than you, having a cleaner house than you, or doing ANYTHING better than you. Please stop treating me like the “other woman” or the invader that destroyed your family dynamic.
Your son still loves you very much. He will always love you; you are his mother. I cannot pretend I know how you feel about our marriage nor will I ever understand why you would even want to compete with me. When I entered into this family, I was hoping for a second mother, not a beast or a life-long sworn enemy. I am sorry for any pain or hurt this marriage has and will cause you.
Just please, in my plea understand, I AM NOT STEALING YOUR SON. He is a grown man who wants to start and family with you in it. We want to give you grandchildren you will love and adore. We want you to be apart of this wonderful event, so please, please, please, please stop competing and accusing me of stealing your precious, perfect, little man.
You did a wonderful job as a mother and you are the reason I am marrying your perfect, precious, little man. He is everything I asked God for and even more. He is amazing, brilliant, and full of life. He makes me want to be more than I ever thought I could be, he pushes me to change and grow. He does more than complete me; he compliments me.
Be my family, at the very least try to be my friend. I promise you won’t regret getting to know me. I know we can be close and love each other.
Think about it,
Bride on Fire
Post # 3
brideonfire : Hope you feel better.
Post # 7
Is there something you’d like to talk about?
Post # 8
Geez, some bees need to lighten up a bit. I got a laugh — I need to write my Future Mother-In-Law a card before our rehearsal tomorrow, and I think I might steal some of this 😉
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
You need DWIL Nation, stat! (Just google it. You’ll thank me).
Post # 10
Writing letters that aren’t meant for post are usually a form of therapy or coping. So, I see what you did there…
Its not too common on these boards however. You’ll usually find subsections for “unaddressed letters” on support forums for the specific subject. So, that’s why you might find people somewhat confused at your intent here.
You can also do the same in a personal journal for reflection if need be in the future. However, in your case, maybe it would be beneficial for your partner to talk to his mom and say some of these things to her…might break some tension. More likely it won’t.
Regardless, you’re a part of her son’s life now and he’s an adult. The umbilical cord gets cut…and you do become the main woman in his life.
Post # 11
People are just salty that she didn’t say the obligatory “Just needed to vent. Anyone have a similar experience or advice?” or everyone could blabber about themselves and their superiority.
Post # 12
I wanted to write a letter to my future Mother-In-Law to express how I feel and vent a little. My wedding is about one month away, and my Mother-In-Law is driving me crazy and up the wall! She keeps saying I am stealing her son away from her, but taking him from what?
I am just hoping my letter will help someone else find peace with the same situation.
Post # 13
lesbeeinlove : Thank you for understanding. lol! Just wanted to start a conversation in a different way. I guess i have to add more of the “drama.” my bad.
Post # 14
I might make a couple revisions but otherwise I would send that to your Future Mother-In-Law.
Post # 15
brideonfire : To answer your question of “stealing him from what?”, I’ll go out on a limb and say this: Your Future Mother-In-Law is having trouble with the notion that adult sons are supposed to “leave” their family of origin and, if they marry, “cleave” to their spouse. Your Future Mother-In-Law is probably insecure about something in her life and is concerned that she will no longer be the #1 woman in her son’s life and that you will be #1 instead. It has nothing to do with you. It is all her. She is probably realizing that oh wow, her child is not a child anymore and is making his own decisions that don’t involve her.
Or not. Just a guess:)