(Closed) I am now experiencing getting put on the spot to be invited to my wedding. Ugh!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@echolove:  In the early stages before we had anything planned I laughed it off or if it was online I ignored it.

 

Later down the line I just said we had space and budget restraints, for you you can say that it is going to be very intimate.

 

Then the next time that uncles wife is having a big invite tell her your bringing your friend’s, brother’s cousin and inviting yourself to point out how rude that is…. 😉

Post # 4
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@echolove:  How incredibly rude to put you on the spot like that!  Just practice saying, “Oh, I’m so sorry but we’re having a very small wedding and we can’t invite everyone we’d like. “

If they persist? “I’m sorry, but no.”

Post # 5
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@echolove:  I’m dealing with this now too, and it is soooooooooo annoying and adds more stress that I would rather not have. I’m getting married tomorrow and have had an influx of this. Why can’t people just be happy for you, and keep it moving!

Post # 7
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jcaldwell85:  Happy wedding day! May it be joyful!!

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@echolove:  The rudeness was on your aunt’s part, not you. The fact that she went behind your back to ask your mother is appalling.

 

@Zhabeego had the best answer. Repeat it ad naeasum hahaha

Post # 9
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@echolove:  I JUST had this happen to me this past weekend. We are also having an intimate wedding of only 10 people. I thought my family understood the reasoning behind this decision but I was apparently wrong. I had my Aunts,and a cousin basically try to invite themselves to it. And snarky comments to boost. I just had to say I’m sorry, but I want you to know I would have loved to have you their, but with my fi’s family being from out of town and no one really able to attend we had to make it a short list of immediate family only.  I did get a snarky comment from my cousin. He said so we aren’t invited to this? I said No i’m sorry. He looked at my Fiance and said Well good luck with that! In this nasty tone. I wanted to be like…THAT’s why you are invited right there, but I didn’t. I just had to smirk and water off a duck it.

Post # 11
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This has been happening to me quite a bit…I sent out our Save the Dates and a month or two later I started getting family members crawling out of the woodwork asking me if they were invited. These are people I haven’t spoken to in YEARS. Because they don’t know my phone number, this was always via Facebook…which for some reason offended me more. I chose to ignore those people. 

The icing on the cake was my cousin (who is getting married a month before me) sent me a VERY angry FB message about not being invited to my wedding…I’m still stuffing the envelopes for the invites mind you. Best part? I was never invited to her wedding and I haven’t talked to or have even seen her in over 3 years…I brought this up and about 2 weeks later I received an invitation…about a month after everyone else received theirs. 

I never really believed it when some of my married friends told me “you’ll start to see people’s true colors when you’re planning a wedding.” NO KIDDING.

If someone isn’t invited that you really care for, but you just can’t afford it, explain that to them. They WILL understand because I am sure they care for you just as much!

For the people who just want in invite for the sake of getting an invite?  Be kind to them and say it’s a small intimate wedding. Who will argue with you over that? Just remember to be kind…and if they don’t like your answer than too bad. They aren’t paying for it all 🙂

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