Post # 1
DH and I were married in November and quite a bit has happened since then. I had SWORN to myself that we would have thnak yous mailed out by Christmas and then DH offered to do them all since he was on night shift for the first two months we were married. However, they took a lot longer than he thought and by the time I was ready to stop procrastinating myself, we hit the shit storm that has been our first 7 months of marriage. Not problems between us but problems with almost everything else in our lives.
My uncle died the day after Thanksgiving. A week later we found out that my Mom’s cancer was growing again. In the testing process as she was getting ready to start an experimental drug, we found out that her cancer had spread to her brain. Then came Christmas and our honeymoon (we delayed because I am a teacher and we needed to schedule it around my break lest we wanted to deal with a pay dock). Mom had specialized radiation treatments in January which were supposed to make the brain spots go away. And we really should have knocked out the thank you cards then but we didn’t.
And then came February, arguably the worst month of my life to this point. February 15th is the last time I had a real conversation with my Mom when we called to invite her and Dad to an event in April. Unbeknownst to me, she had decided to stop treatment because of how she was feeling. I didn’t even know anythign was wrong until that Tuesday when Dad called DH and I to help get her off the floor where she had fallen. She couldn’t walk, and could barely talk or swallow. THankfully, because of snow, I was able to be with her most of the week. That Friday night I stayed over and when I came downstairs the next morning, she was gone.
In the last three months, we’ve had a mix of cockroach infestations, false start to grad school, extra work responsibilities, a spanking by the IRS, and the business of pushing through when everything is really not okay.
Thank you notes are written; I’ll be addressing them this evening and hopefully mailing them tomorrow. Hopefully my guests will understand because right now, I feel like a rude, ungrateful bitch on top of everything else.
Post # 2
Get them mailed as soon as you can. You just lost an uncle and your mum – there is nothing worse, IMO, than losing your mum. Anyone who wouldn’t understand isn’t worth your time. After my dad died, I could hardly get out of bed for a very long time, and had a difficult time being thankful for anything much at all. When my mum dies, I know it will be much, much worse. My heart goes out to you, and you are anything but what you called yourself. I wish you peace and strength in such a difficult time.
Post # 3
You have a year to send them out.
Post # 4
I’m assuming most of your guests are at least aware that your mom passed after being sick for awhile; that alone is explanation enough… at least you still are planning on getting them out.
Post # 5
I am sure your friends and family will understand. Just get them out now! 🙂 I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom.
Post # 6
I thought I read something on these boards that you have 6 months to a year to send cards out. And with your situation, you are definetly ok to have them not sent out yet.
Post # 7
OP, is there any way you can do address labels to speed up the process?
That’s not exactly etiquette approved either, but at least it will be one less thing for you to worry about.
Post # 8
Late is better than never, and as PPs said, most people will be aware of what has been going on.. the rest can just eat their shorts.
Post # 9
You do not have a year to send out thank you cards – that’s a myth. You should write the thank you card right after you open the present and put it in the mail immediately. Guests have a year to send you a present.
In your situation, anyone who knows you should know what you and your family have been going through. I’d get those cards in the mail asap and take that guilt off your shoulders. With so many things out of your control, this is the one thing you can control. I am so sorry to hear about all of your hardships. Thankfully you have your husband by your side to help you through all of these difficult stuations. Big hug!
Post # 10
My heart is absolutely breaking for you reading this. I’m so so sorry for your losses 🙁
I think people will understand. When you can, send them out, but parroting other posters, people im sure know at least part of what you’re going thru and will understand.
Sending hugs your way **hug**
Post # 11
I think you can send the thank you cards whenever you damn well please.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
Post # 12
Oh, it’s a year to send a gift.
Post # 13
I think anyone who is close to you knows what is happening. If they are sitting at home thinking “that ***** didn’t send me a thank you” after the year you’ve had, they can go to hell. Now is not the time to worry about etiquette, focus on your family and your marriage and yourself.
When you’re feeling a bit more settled, send a thank you card to those outstanding for attending your wedding, and also for their kind wishes and understanding during this past year.
I’m sorry for your loss
Post # 14
I am sorry for your loss, as well as all of the other hardships you’ve listed (you’ve really had a tough past few months! ) Cut yourself some slack, you have enough on your plate.
I just recieved a thank you a couple days ago for a wedding I was in last November. So you are not be the only one who was a bit late. Better late then never. Especially since they’re already done and written.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m sure people are aware of some of the troubles you have faced and completely understand. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.