(Closed) i am on the verge of telling dh’s family off! help :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 5
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So obviously I don’t know how your relationship is with your MIL, but from an outsider’s perpective…. yes she is super annoying but she seems to really want you to finish your degree and has concern that dropping from full time to part time will discourage you from completing it.

Maybe she’s seen it happen with other people/ saw it on the new who knows, but at least she is supportive of you finishing school. You are making a huge sacrifice and this is her way of encouraging you?

Maybe showing her your game plan to get it done would help get her off your back about it?

Post # 6
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I think you have to tell them as little as possible.  I don’t think there is anything else you can do but ignore her.

Post # 7
Member
255 posts
Helper bee

My goodness! She sounds like a right pill. All I can say is that it sounds like you’ve made THE BEST DECISION POSSIBLE and you need to remember that when she’s being nosey!

Post # 8
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oooh just saw your added posts…

 

That’s just annoying. They need to back off already. Who needs your whole in-law’s questioning that.

Sorry you have to deal with it….

Post # 9
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i feel for you. i am totally done with school ( i have a law degree) and just got my first full time job but it seems like nothing is good enough for my monster in law. she hates that my FH moved 1,000 miles away from her because of my job and constantly asking if i hate my job and realized i made the wrong decision. i just try to breathe and realize that there is no pleasing her. vent to us as much as you want because it makes life hard for FH if you vent to much to him (i know from expierence).

Post # 10
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Ugh.  I would advise a small blow up to get the point across or the polite but super mean relentless questioning.  “Do you remember what I said before?”  “No, please tell me if you remember what I said before and what it was”  again again if she refuses if she says no “Oh… you’ve asked several times and I’ve answered I don’t understand why you would not remember if it was important to you and why you would keep asking if it wasn’t… why?”

I’d also be tempted to prepare an index card with the info written out and bring it with you, when she asks or mentions it again I would whip it out and say “Since you’re asked so very many times I prepared this handy cheat sheet, I hope this will give you the information in an easy to refer to way so whenever you have concners you can just look at it and don’t have to be rude to me”

I wouldn’t actually do this – but tempted.

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Smile, say you understand their perspective…then do what you want and what is best for YOU,

Post # 12
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

Arachna I’d be so tempted!!!

Post # 13
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@bloodgo1: Totally understand! My FMIL is the same way. She always is telling both FH and I to go to school. Though we are not as close to graduation as you and your hubby so pat yourselves on the back. I am a hairstylist but I’m going back right after the wedding and have about 2 years left. FH has like 20 credits and FMIL bugs him to go into this and that so much I think he is confused about what he should go into into. He seems to just shrug it off, like yeah yeah, I’ll go. I’m assuming he’s just used to it as this has probably been going on for 10 years. You only have a few credits left. Maybe once she sees you will complete your degree she’ll back off. Until then, when she tells people in front of you that you are taking a break from school- correct her and explain the situation w/o revealing too much about the finances. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I think you should ask your husband to talk to her.  Have him tell her that you’re going to school and that in order for you two to live responsibly, you needed a job.  He should also mention that what she’s saying to you is inappropriate and unwanted.

Post # 16
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

I admire your willingness to both work and finish your schooling.  Marriage is about compromise and you and your husband are making it work for what is in your best interest.

@beekiss2 has made a great suggestion, and I hope your husband will talk to his mother.  You both have enough to do without getting grief from family.

Best wishes for success in your work and school careers, and congratulations on your marriage.

The topic ‘i am on the verge of telling dh’s family off! help :(’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors