- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
First, let me start by saying that I am planning my own wedding for the spring of 2012. But before I say ‘I DO’ I am currently a bridesmaid in TWO weddings this fall, October and November. Both of these girls are very dear to me. I want nothing more than to be there for them as they embark on this exciting time in their lives… however I am finding myself asking “should I have declined their invitation to be a bridesmaid?” The costs of these two weddings is going to bankrupt me.
BRIDE #1: $220 bridesmaid dress. $40 for alterations. $96 for shoes to match the dress. Two wedding shower gifts $$$$. Bachelorette party out of town (lodging, gas, food) $200+. Cost of hair and makeup (which is required by the bride) $100. Hotel for the wedding as it is out of town $160…
So far I am figuring I will come close to the $900 mark… on this bride alone.
BRIDE #2: Almost identical costs as the first. The hotel for her wedding is actually more expensive… and then I got the invitation to the Bachelorette party. IN VEGAS. Flights. Hotel. A private cabana at the hotel pool. Bottle service at the nightclubs. Formal dinner.
I can’t even wrap my head around how much that trip is going to cost.
Now remember I said… I am getting married in 2012? My fiancé and I struggle on a monthly basis with bills. We don’t have expendable cash. We might not be able to go on a honeymoon of our own if I keep spending like I am. These two weddings for my friends have shot my credit card bill THROUGH THE ROOF. I tried expressing to both of them that $200 was a lot for me to purchase a dress, and neither one seemed to understand. They simply explained to me that I could pay in installments on the dress… well ya, but it will still total $200 in the end! I feel like they don’t care when I express my struggles (BRIDE #1 actually gave me a $25 VISA giftcard for my birthday “to help with my expenses”, I was mildly insulted), and they think that I should just suck it up because it’s their day, it’s all about them, what they want, and I am bothering them with my concerns and I agreed to be in their weddings.
When I had to purchase their dresses I went home in tears because $400+ in bridesmaid dresses was not really what I had in mind when they asked me to be in their weddings. It’s quickly spiraling out of control.
I want to be there for them on their special days, but I really think they are asking a little much of me. What am I supposed to do!? My wedding is going to suffer because I am going to be broke from being a bridesmaid! I had no idea it was this expensive. I thought I would be standing up with them at the alter sharing tears of joy, not tears of saddness because I am trying to figure out how to pay off my credit card.
Can I tell BRIDE #2 I just can’t afford to go to her Bachelorette party in Vegas? Can I tell them that I refuse to have my hair and makeup done? They are both having 2 showers, can I only attend one of the two showers? Am I being selfish? Am I terrible bridesmaid?