(Closed) I am really starting to dislike FMIL

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mattsgirl813:  You’re starting to dislike your FMIL? Well it would be more unusual if you DIDN’T dislike her

MILs are notoriously hard to get along with–but your fiance/husband should be responsible for cutting the umbilical cord 

 

As far as your FBIL’s gf….their issues are their own…you can’t ban her from the wedding just because you don’t like the way she treats him…that will force him to choose…which will most likely cause your fiance to miss out on his brother being at his wedding and cause a whole family drama

Post # 5
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Make W stand out the outside edge of every picture so you can photoshop her out. Suggest that she wear a solid color, it’s easier to get the lasso tool around accurately. Tell your photographer your plans as well, so he/she can get blank shots of the location to chop into the place W will be vacating.

I haven’t thought about this re: a troublesome relative at all, nooooo.

Guests list counts are a common bone of contention among different sides of the family, you’re not alone! Just make sure you and your fiance make the decision together and NO WAFFLING. Anything she asks about guests (or anything, really), she should get the exact same answer from both of you – no trying to get special treatment from him.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

First off, I think you’re awesome.  I”m pretty direct and would have done the same things as you did (call FBIL’s gf out for gift grabbing/cheating and then gossiping about you.)

It sounds like Future Mother-In-Law has a problem because you are such a strong person who has the courage to speak her mind.  Some moms get defensive when another strong woman affects their baby boy.

Post # 7
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don;t think she was excluding hte other family members. She was trying to make her point that regardless of your feelings on the matter they consider his girlfriend family. And I agree that it all stems from you calling her out. I know you are hurting for him, but that is their relationship and sometimes you just have to watch people do things you wish they wouldn’t.

I hated it when my cousin took his lying cheating ex back. However when I was around her I smiled and was polite. It didn”t take him long to see through her and she was out the door for good soon after. I told him how I felt about it and it never strained our relationship because I accepted that it was his mistake to make.

Post # 8
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

MILs suck.  I would suggest you have Fiance do the dirty work.  Mine hates that I don’t directly speak up, but I would rather it be that way.  I feel like they take things better from him then they would from me.

Post # 10
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@mattsgirl813:  I agree, I was about to say, I dont even want her in teh family shots.  Surely Mother-In-Law cant get upset at that since shes NOT family and not even the Fiance.

I think its weird that she was concerned about, but whatever, it’s not a big deal who she sees is important.  Weird?  Yea, definitely to most people.  Worth bringing up? probably not.

Post # 11
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pinkshoes:  Umm surely the OP’s Future Mother-In-Law can’t get upset with her photoshopping her son’s gf  (whom she loooves) out of the wedding pics???

 

Sorry but I’m going to have to say that this sounds like a recipe for trouble

 

I don’t doubt the the Future Mother-In-Law is being annoying–or that FBIL’s gf is a cheating snake–but getting petty when dealing with petty people brings you down to their level

 

If the OP wants to photoshop her out of her personal pics that’s just fine–but don’t expect to not start a family war when the gf is photoshopped out of all of the pics—like the ones that are going on facebook for example

 

 

Post # 12
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@sylvia.riggle:  Nono, I didnt mean photoshop her out of the pictures. I meant she should not be IN the family pictures in the first place.  It doesnt matter how much Mother-In-Law likes her, she is NOT family.  I’d make sure to do one with “immediate family” ONLY, then maybe toss her in there for another one or just include her in the “guest” pictures.

Post # 13
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

Is your wedding really in 2014? If so, there is the potential for her (W) not being around then!

Post # 16
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mattsgirl813:  Why do you hate this girl so much? Surely there are 2 sides to every story–if he wants to marry her, he’s the one who’s going to have to live with her, not you!

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