Post # 1
Hello Bees, I am writing to vent in some way… So I am 27, I had my first relationship two years back and I had to break up because he was too busy and didn’t have time for me. It was very difficult for me and made me a different person. I had many problems with my new bf because of that. It is always difficult for me to trust to someone, I am very shy and emotional, and it took much time for me to realize that my new bf is not my ex who made me suffer, but a better guy who cares for me.
Now there are some problems in my second relationship because of uncertainty about future (my and his studies, possible family issues, culture differences etc). And I am so much afraid of breakup. It is very serious for me and I am scared that if I fail again, I won’t be able to believe to someone else. I feel like this is the last time when I try and if it doesn’t work, I won’t take the risk again.
Please tell whan you think, I would appreciate any comment or advice…
Post # 2
“every relationship you are in will fail, until one doesn’t” – Dan Savage
Unfortuantely in life you have to have the sour to appreciate the sweet. Heartbreak is part of that. You should work on yourself, you can’t fully love and trust someone until you love and trust yourself. You already know you can’t let one person pay for the mistakes of another. It doesn’t end well for anyone involved
Post # 3
By dating someone you risk heartbreak. That’s how it works. Even relationships that “fail” and end aren’t a failure…they’re a success because you’re getting out of a relationship that simply wasn’t working. Honestly I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreak and it shaped me into the wife I am today. Every heartbreak I’ve been through sucked. I cried through every one. But I grew. My first big break up I grew a TON. I realized that I was dependent on my ex for my happiness, so I created my own happiness. I realized I hadn’t been sticking up for my needs in the relationship. I realized that I was stronger than I thought.
If you aren’t careful, your worry that this relationship will fall through will sabotage the relationship. It actually sounds like that is already happening. In my mind that could mean one of two things: either you aren’t 100% sure of this relationship OR you yourself are sabotaging it, in which case I would recommend therapy to work through these issues. If you can’t sit back and just enjoy the relationship that’s a pretty significant issue.
Post # 4
Almost 6 yrs ago I was like you shy, lacking confidence, afraid of having another relationship and failing then I met my ex and my confidence grew, and I started to see what was meant to be in a relationship as the relationship progressed I started to lose independence but knew my confidence had grown and knew that my needs weren’t being met, we were so different. A few months ago that relationship ended and I have changed so much, I am happy having less illnesses I have met someone which at the moment is very early days however we click so much and he is attending to my needs more than anyone ever has in such a short space of time but we also get our own time which is important for us to keep growing separately