(Closed) I am so aggrivated!! I am about to explode!

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?

    Leave it alone!

    Talk to her again....even though its probably on deaf ears

    Kick her out of the wedding party!!!!

    Why are you even friends?

  • Post # 17
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Unfortunately I am going to have to agree with the previous posters!

    One of my favourite tips about wedding planning is that “Nobody cares as much about your wedding as you do!” It keeps me humble.

    I am sure your Maid/Matron of Honor is happy for you and cares about your wedding but she doesn’t care enough to do your work for/with you?

    I think she should come to the party but you didn’t mention her reason for not being able to come!? If her reason is valid I would just organize some time to go over everything separately with her!

    Good Luck!

    Post # 19
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Is her avoiding scooping truffles really worth ruining a friendship over?

    Post # 22
    Member
    1937 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If she can’t come to a specific event such as the party on Saturday, I think all she needs to do is tell you ahead of time.  She’s done that.  I don’t think she even needs to tell you why she can’t come.  I don’t think that you should judge her reason as being “valid” or “invalid.” 

    It sounds like you have a sister and other friends who are helping you a lot.  Maybe just focus on the relationship with them and the relationship with your Maid/Matron of Honor a little less.  It may be less stressful.  

    Post # 23
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @Kait – no I don’t think that is a justified reason to miss the party! If she managed her time properly she could do that before the party! I would call her and tell her how important it is to you for her to be there and hopefully she steps up!

    Post # 24
    Member
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m with Eva – I don’t think she needs to justify why she’s unable to make things. It sounds like you’re expecting a lot from her as a friend in general, and maybe she’s put off by that. And, if my best friend asked me if I wanted to step down, I’d be pretty hurt as well. I would back off and focus on just being friends for now. Don’t expect anything from her, and if she does show up and help out, great, but if she doesn’t, you won’t be disappointed.

    Post # 26
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think you are really over-reacting here.  They’re just truffle favors, put it in perspective for your entire relationship as a whole.  You say she’s on unemployment, and she’s also having to sell things on ebay and at yard sales to make ends meet.  It sounds like spending money on gas and travel is too much for her.  It’s not like she said she would come and just skipped it – she gave you advance notice that she won’t be able to make it and tried to come up with an alternative for her to learn the dance.

    You picked a wedding party to have people who are close to you stand up with you on your wedding day.  It’s not their responsibility to help you craft and help with all of the projects you decided to take on.  It sounds like you have some bridesmaids who are more than willing to help out!  Embrace those who help you, and don’t expect anything from anyone else. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I always wondered why we have bridesmaid and so many of them.  My two daughters were bridesmaids because I wanted them to be up there and part of my celebration.  I never asked or assumed they were going to be free labor in making my favors or decorations.  I don’t get why people have so many of them either.  Really you have that many best buds you want in your wedding instead of just inviting them?  Maybe  cause I am an older bride and second time around I don’t get the whole bridesmaid thing.  Now on the my 1st marriage there weren’t any bridesmaids.I think you have them up there as a place of honor part of the celebration.

    Post # 28
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    On a totally unrelated note, did you know that you can make truffles that do not have to be frozen and won’t melt in the car? I’m making truffles for my wedding favor too, and mine are nice and firm at room temperature. no melting and no freezing required. Let me know if you need the recipe! And I hope you and your Maid/Matron of Honor can work things out before the wedding!

    Post # 29
    Member
    1209 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Sorry, I don’t think that BM’s or the Maid/Matron of Honor should be expected to help with favors or other projects. I was in a friends wedding a couple years ago, she expected me to do a lot! It was seriously ridiculous some of the things she asked me to do. I never wanted to do any of it, because she “expected” it! I would always make excuses because I hate when people expect me to do things (especially things like that). It almost ruined our relationship.  Last year I was in another friends wedding, she would call and say “hey my mom and I are going to work on ____________, you can ride over if you want or have time, don’t worry about it if you can’t”. I appreciated that she did not demand me to come and help her. I was a lot more eager to help.

    Post # 30
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    @KaitnJust:

     

    remember the wedding isn’t a priority in their busy or not so busy life as it is to the bride.  serious i never did actually get the meaning behind having bridesmaid other then you have a couple of real close friends or family members you want up there to enjoy your ceremony.  Never saw them as a free wedding cordinator to boss around and oooooo and aaaahh over you as you get your toes painted or even as you prance out of the dressing room in the wedding dress.    

    Post # 31
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Step down? I mean, is this a job?

    Really?

    If you made plans to DIY something that is outside your ability to finish on your own, well that’s a bummer. But you decided to do it.

     

    I think it’s a little strange how you list how much you’ve done for her and making it sound like she owes you a debt of gratitude for doing what friends are supposed to do.

    Sorry, I just have trouble with the whole bridezilla mentality.

    PS. My bridemaids are out of town, they haven’t helped me with a thing. Oh well! They’re still my bridesmaids for a reason! I love them and they’ve been with me through thick and thin; I can forgive that they couldn’t drive into town to staple my programs.

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