(Closed) I am SO embarrassed! :(

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 47
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

if ANYONE gets offended at what you’ve chosen on your registry than they have more problems than you need to deal with. I personally think it would be fun to buy someone something a little bit more unconventional for their wedding, because if I ever came over and you offered me a margarita I would know that I helped you out with that!

Post # 48
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

Keep everything on your registry that you want, PLEASE!  She is obviously very jealous and competitive and only said those things to put you in the exact situation you are in now. It is your registry and if you want a margarita machine or madeline pans thats what you want.  I put a Kitchenaid mixer on mine ($299) and only expected a group of people to buy it, but didnt even know if Id use it that much I just really wanted it.  Well a group of people did buy and it and I use it several times a month, I love it!

If people get offended by what is on your registry that is their problem and they dont have to get you anything from it.  However, I think your aunt was lying and she is the only person “offended” by your registry.  And by offended I mean jealous.

Post # 49
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You aunt is being a major drama queen. She is obviously jealous of something. Its YOUR registry keep what YOU want on it! I highly doubt people are saying anything behind your back- and if they are they obviously  dont have the guts to say it to your face so who cares what they think anyway!

Post # 50
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

we registered for all kinds of rediculous stuff, i mean why not?! ignore her, if they don’t think it’s appropriate than they can pick something else! and what would you do with a margarita machine after you have kids? i dunno, make margarita’s! that’s a stupid question to ask really, it’s your registry not hers

Post # 51
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think that’s the real issue (well, really, what do I know? But I will share with you my completely uninformed speculation!).  My first thought when I read your post was that she’s not offended by your registry but that she generally thinks that you’re too young to get married.  You mentioned that you’re younger than her daughter, and even if you’re of “ripe” marriage age, she obviously has a sort of competitive issue about your getting married before her daughter, which probably manifests itself as an attitude about you being too young to know better. 

I only suggest this because I admit that I had similar thoughts when I looked through a registry recently of a couple that has invited us to their wedding.  They’re both 21.  There are some things on there that I just would not have picked out, and my first thought was “she’s too young [to know better / to have developed her personal style / to know how to use a _______________].”  Of course, I would have NEVER said anything to anyone about having that thought, but there you have it–I judged her registry for being “young” because of her age.

The most ridiculous part is that if I saw the same items on someone’s registry who is my age or older, I would have a completely different reaction–oh, she must love to bake, or huh, she has a really interesting home decor style.  Even if I never say anything inappropriate to these people, I am embarrased to be so judgmental!

In the end, though, there is nothing you can do about your age and I am sure you are 100% mature enough and ready for marriage, so try not to worry about it! 

p.s. My parents have that margarita maker too, it’s amazing… and the alcohol free drinks are a HUGE hit with kids.  Your future kids’ friends will think you’re the coolest.

Post # 52
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

ummm RUDE!  Screw her!  It’s your registry! Key word being YOUR!!! If she doesn’t like it tough for her..let her get you a gift card or something!  She was way out of line! 

Post # 53
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

I have a madeline pan and I am going to warn you right now that fresh made ones will RUIN those starbucks ones 🙂

Stick to what you actually want! If I saw a madeline pan on your registy I would get it and be excited!

Post # 54
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

girlo screw her!! just cause her old school butt cant see outside her own lil box and think that people, heaven forbid, wanna have fun in their spare time and not sit around thinking of ways they can be rude to people!! she is just a bitter old, jealous woman. i have a margarita maker and everytime we have a get together we use it…. so tell the old hag to go somewhere, that unlike her, you wanna enjoy life!!! its your registry, not hers, not her daughters!!

Post # 55
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

u should use your pan and margarita maker for a get togther one afternoon,and put her on the guest like….hahahaha!!

Post # 56
Member
3600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Registry judgement? For realz?

If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to buy it.

Post # 57
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Even if you did tear into her, you were a LOT nicer than I would’ve been.  I would have told that b-word where to go!!

Don’t change your registry for anyone!!  (And to boot, I don’t even think those things are silly — I know people that put video games and ladders on registries, you want what you want!!)

Post # 58
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

O_o I don’t think I have ever once, in all the weddings I’ve ever been to, thought that much about what someone else had on their registry. Wow.

Post # 59
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Seriously! Your aunt is the one who should be embarrassed for her behavior. She was so inappropriate and out of line.

A registry is a wishlist and you’re certainly not requiring people to buy things from it. If people don’t like what is on it, they can choose to give another gift. I would be surprised if those “people who are offended by it” actually exist–she’s probably the only one offended.

I’d pay her no mind and keep whatever you like on the registry.

Post # 60
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The madeline pan was one of the first items purchased off of my registry, for what it’s worth.

No one is judging you other than your aunt.  And if they are? Who cares! They don’t get a margarita.

Post # 61
Member
14 posts
Newbee

When we registered at Bed Bath & Beyond the guy told us to register for fun gifts as well as gifts that are just useful and utilitarian, because about half the people will want to get you something fun instead of a boring kitchen item. 

That being said, I registered for one item over $100.00 and that was a Kitchenaid mixer because it is so versatile and I’ll more than likely use it very often since I bake a lot. I didn’t register at places I knew most of my family could not afford because I don’t want to make them feel bad for not being able to afford the things I “want”. I’m not saying you were wrong to because I obviously don’t know your family’s financial situation. We registered at Bed Bath & Beyond and at Target to give people a range of things. 

I have an aunt exactly like yours and for all of the same reasons, only worse. Her daughter is… she doesn’t have any pride in her outward appearance and has no self esteem because of her mother, yet my aunt can’t figure out why I’m getting married and her daughter hasn’t found “the one” yet. She has done things like what your aunt did to you before and has even looked at our registry as a subject of gossip with a few relatives who told me about it. She brought it up with them and they politely said things like, “Oh, really?” etc. So when she says that “people” have been offended, she more than likely means she’s talked about it/brought it up to other people… not that they necessarily agreed with her. She’s probably lying to make herself look better. My aunt isn’t even invited to my wedding. She never came to my high school graduation, didn’t call or help when my Dad had cancer, so nope, she’s not on the guest list. Don’t have people at your wedding you don’t want to see on your wedding day. People say, “Oh I can’t do that they are family” uh yeah you can. If they don’t treat you like family then they aren’t family. Blood means nothing.

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