- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
I have made a couple posts about my parents before. Basically, we have not been getting along lately. I told them I wanted to move in with my Fiance, and they pretty much freaked out. They are both very conservative Christian, and told me that I was the “prodigal son” for wanting to move in with my Fiance. Things are really tense between us currently, and I feel that their judgement is just pushing me further and further away from them. I think when I am finally married and have my own family, I just won’t want to come around them anymore. They have truly pushed me over the edge.
Anyway, one of the battles I had with my mom was over the guest list. Because they are on staff at their church,there are a lot of church friends that they feel it was a necessity for them to invite. my mom kept saying “It’s tradition for the bride’s parents to invite their friends, even if the bride is not friends with them/does not know them.” I kinda figured like I had to pick my battles. I figured they did have a right to invite some of their friends, since my parents are paying for a little less than half of the wedding (FI and I are paying for the rest).
Well, as I was sending out the save the dates, i kept giving my mom a running total of the ones i had sent out. Every time I sent the list to her, she would respond back with 2-3 of her friends that I needed to invite. Each time, she said that these people were “non-negotiables.” Because I wanted to pick my battles, I just went with it. I can’t fight with my mom over every fricking thing. Because we are on a tight budget, my Fiance and I decided we weren’t going to invite a lot of our friends. it was just going to be family.
Well, I have gone through the final list of EVERYONE who has recieved a save the date. we wanted a small, intimate wedding because we were on a budget. I EMPHATICALLY said to my parents, my Fiance and his parents that I wanted NO MORE than 150 people. Well, so far 219 people have recieved save the dates.
I am so frustrated. I just can’t believe that we did not even invite our own friends in an effort to save money, but have to pay to feed my parent’s friends that i dont even like. I have absolutley no desire of seeing them on my wedding day and they are not the people I even want to say hi to on that day. They are judgmental, religious freaks in my opinion. I just have no idea what to do.
My mom feels that these people–her friends–are non negotiables. They were getting invited whether or not I liked it. But she is not willing to give/does not have any more money to give towards the wedding. The small, intimate wedding I wanted is turning into this huge bash with all my parents church friends. that I have to pay for.
I am so hurt. so upset. so frustrated. I don’t know what to do. I mean, you can’t uninvite people, can you? how would you handle this? i just want to tell my mom to back off and she can’t have anything else to do with the wedding. This is SO frustrating.