(Closed) I am so frustrated I just want to give up! LONG VENT

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That sounds like a perfect compromise to me.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your mom will like this solution. =)

Post # 18
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I really like that compromise.  If that doesn’t work out with your mom, I would sugest a “church only” reception after the wedding date- like another weekend.  Most churches have a common space that you can rent out where you can do a “reception” for all of her friends- compliments of mom.

Post # 19
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I was going to suggest exactly what you and your Fiance have come up with! A short punch reception for those “church friends” is perfect!! My dad is a pastor, and I’ve seen so many people do that at his church, since a lot of church communities think the whole congregation should be invited to the ceremony and stuff. ๐Ÿ™‚

Be ready to put your foot down with Mom! You can do it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 20
1267 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply

I love this idea!  Great compromise and shows that you and your Fiance work really well together to find solutions! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 21
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m glad you and your FH came up with a solution– good for you!

So now, maybe before you speak with your mother, you and your FH can come up with your “non negotiables” for your private reception and then either
a) tell your mother how many places she can fill and that’s it (risky) or
b) just flat out tell your mother who is and who is not invited to the private reception– 100% non negotiable (maybe not as risky but definitely more difficult to get her to go along with).

I hope it works out, and I agree that you should take this as a lesson learned type of situation and from now on, lay down the law! Good luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@heatherrobyn:  Wow, I’m sorry you’re going through this.  Unfortunately, the STD’s have already gone out so you’re obligated to invite the people they went too.  What you can do from here on out is firmly veto any other ideas your parents may have that will end up costing you money. 

You can also scale back on your reception to save.  For example, if you were going to have a plated dinner you can do a buffet or even a cake and punch reception provided you don’t plan the reception around meal time. 

Good luck!

Post # 23
126 posts
Blushing bee

I really feel for you. I know you said you and your Fiance have come up with a compromise for the reception but what I would personally find annoying is having people I don’t know/like watch me get married, especially if its at the expense of some of your friends not being invited.

I’m having a very intimate wedding of immediate family and close friends (50 in total for the ceremony) and it bugs me that just one of those people is someone I really don’t want to watch me get married but we apparently ‘have’ to invite out of etiquette.

I don’t know, if I were you I would be super angry at my mother and tell her why and then I would probably make up a white lie about there being a mistake with the venue and they can only take 150 max so, very sorry, but you can’t come! But that would take some b*lls!!! Obviously a little difficult to say that about the church if all these people attend there.

This is such a special day, you don’t want any regrets. I would much rather upset a load of people I don’t know than be stood there on my wedding day with 70 people I didn’t want to invite.

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