- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
I am a regular poster, but decided to go anonymous on this one. I am so frustrated with my sex life and do not know what to do. Seems to be getting worse.
Just a little background. Darling Husband and I dated for over three years before we got married. We were both virgins and waiting to have sex after the wedding. He knew right after we started dating that I wanted to wait after being married (to whoever) to have sex, so he never asked me for it. I thought he was such a respectful guy and like that. No once did we have sex during our dating time.
The day of the wedding came, the wedding night came and nothing. We were both really exhausted from the wedding, so I was glad we didn’t do it. I thought to myself, now we can really enjoy our sex life. It didn’t happen like that!
Really all this time since we got married, I would say almost 100% just not to take away credit from him, it has been my idea to have sex, like I initiate and stuff. I am so mad because I waited such a long time to have it, and it has been miserable. The first month we had it, he actually ejaculated and was done fast. I actually got mad at him because I didn’t got a single orgasm. He asked me, and I was not sure, so he thought I didn’t have it.
We actually had sex about twice a week, which is better than what we have these days. Maybe once a week average. From that point on he seldom ejaculates during intercourse. I don’t think he has ejaculated in the last year with just vaginal intercourse.
I feel really terrible because I feel like I am always begging for it. When I ask him why he doesn’t initiate as often, he says he doesn’t think about it. I still feel terrible and not desired at all. This is what has diminished my sex drive in the last few months and we have sex less often. It doesn’t last too long and of course neither one of us climax.
If it was up to him, we would never have it. We were both virgins, so I do not have a point of comparison to ex-partners or anything like that, but to me our sex life just seems very strange. He did a hormone test because I suggested him to do so, and it came back normal a little bit in the lower end of normal though.
Because of this, I sometimes I feel like I want to go far away from him. I do love him, but this is just destroying something in our relationship, I am not even sure what it is. I feel like I am falling out of love, some kind of repulsion.
The worst thing he just seems fine with it, happy and content. Can he just be lazy in bed or what?
I feel so lost…I do not know what to think and do anymore to help us out.