- 4 years ago
So, lucky girl me, was asked by my wonderful partner nearly a YEAR ago to pick out a ring. (We had had an initial discussion on engagement and I asked him when that wonderful day was to come along, if he would allow me to pick it out. This suits him just fine, as I know he would be easily led by a savvy sales assistant from a franchise jewellery store, and I am not interested in purchasing from there. The qualities of diamonds from these franchisers are not comparable to the diamonds from proper jewellers. For example, this franchise store had a 2.0 carat, P1 clarity in an L colour for $80,000 dollars. Yes $80 thousand buckaroo’s. It’s a sad, rip off joke, but welcome to Australia, land of Diamond Rip Off! Funnily, she did say she could discount it to $60K. I just laughed as I walked away. Wasn’t even GIA rated!)
ANYWAYS, since that moment, I started looking. And the more I looked, the more I learnt. And the more I learnt, the more our budget had to increase if we were going to purchase anything of good quality. And the longer I looked, the more frustrated I became, and several times I have stopped looking altogether and walked away from searching for a few weeks, because I get so damn confused. However I did learn quickly that the smartest way to purchase an engagement ring in Australia was to either go overseas and use James Allen or Blue Nile, or to pay that slightly bit more and use an Australian wholsesale jeweller, and that’s what I’ve chosen to do.
I have found a wonderful jeweller, who has been so amazingly patient with me, but the problem now is this, and I wanted to know if any other woman has experienced this: GUILT.
I am feeling so guilty over how much the ring is going to cost us. I feel guilty thinking could we use that money else where? I feel guilty thinking about the people that can’t afford to pay a bill and we’re about to drop $10K on a ring. I feel guilty and sickened. Months ago we comfortably decided to increase our budget from a fairly modest $7K in the diamond world to $10K as I am not interested in ever upgrading my ring. I want it to be the same diamond, on the same band for the rest of my life. But I feel guilty, guilty, guilty.
My partner is getting pretty annoyed, as in a few weeks time it will mark one year since he asked me to choose a ring. I have decided on the style and the size, but now I wonder is it too flashy? Am I being over the top? Should I settle for less? The guilt is killing me and its making my man frustrated as he said this is meant to be a fun and exciting process, but I keep feeling GUILTY, and the more guilty I feel, the more frustrated I get.
We are currently in a position where we work in a mining area, and we both make susbstanial amount of money. We have no children, we are in a healthy financial position, so this isn’t going to break the bank. In a way, I wish I never asked to be involved in this process, as there is more science behind a diamond than I care to know off, and it is overwhelming.
Before anyone says anything: I’ve had someone ask am I hesitant because I am scared about committing to my partner…this is not the case and I’d marry him without a ring no problem. Its just that this ring is such a big deal to me, it represents so much and I want it to be perfect!
I guess I don’t even know what I am asking, other than if anyone has any advice for me? Am I being too caught up? Should I relax and enjoy this and purchase the ring? Is it too flashy?? Do I need a slap? Argh!