(Closed) I am SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!

posted 4 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Should I just commit to the ring?
    YES : (27 votes)
    75 %
    YOU : (9 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 2
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    You sounded a lot like me and I finally said I couldn’t choose. So I picked out 3 of them that I really liked and told him why I liked each one, then I let him make the final choice knowing I would be happy with any of them. 

    So you can pick a few and let him choose or just choose one and then be happy. Be glad you are in the financial position you are right now. It’s the 1 and only thing you are going to wear every day for the rest of your life. I think it’s well worth the expense.

    Post # 3
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    Maybe you need to put this decision into perspective. It seems you put a lot of pressure over yourself by wanting to choose the perfect band, the perfect stone, now and for the rest of your life. Isn’t that too much of a commitment to make ? It seems like you don’t allow yourself to make a mistake, or to accept that your tastes simply might change later in life. I understand an engagement ring is special and unique and has a sentimental value, but it will be the case whatever you end up purchasing, whatever the price. If you keep feeling guilt because of the price tag, then I think it means you really do not want to spend that much over a ring : it’s fine, don’t ! Even if you can afford something, it doesn’t mean that you absolutely have to.

    Post # 4
    10596 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Not too flashy its perfect size! 

    Post # 5
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    CaroFine:  I felt the same way! It took us 9 months to pick out a ring so you’re definitely not alone. I know it’s a lot of money all at once! But when we were shopping, my mom told me to think about the cost per wear. 10 000 spread over everyday for the rest of your life sounds a bit better.

    Post # 6
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee

    CaroFine:  I can understand the guilty feeling when you realize the vast majority of people on the planet do not have the luxury of owning such an item and instead live lives filled with strife, difficulty and sacrifice. My ring cost no where near the 7k mark and I still feel extremely priviledged. I think as long as you are committed to to leading a life filled with compassion and actively help out your fellow human my sharing the wealth (donating to food pantries, volunteering at an animal shelter), there is nothing wrong with owning a large diamond. That is just my humble opinion. I feel like when we are priviledged we have a moral obligation to give back in some way too. 🙂 Enjoy your ring and congratulations!

    Post # 8
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I hyperventilated when we went ring shopping and I saw that it was going to cost us 1,800. Anything more than 2k on a ring is a bit overboard, it’s a sparkly rock. 


    Your relationship and your self worth are not tied to the value of an over inflated sparkly rock that does nothing but sit on your finger. Try to remember that 🙂

    Post # 9
    488 posts
    Helper bee

    It’s a nice stone, but $10,000 is indeed a *lot* of money. However, you seem to be in a good financial position and you’re obviously very particular about diamonds, so I think you should just get it. When I’m making an expensive purchase, I always go back and forth, thinking that it’s just too much money, even though I can afford it and it won’t affect me in any way. However, once I’ve bought it I don’t ever think about how much I paid for it, I just enjoy it and live my life. So I say just commit to the ring and get it over with!! Lol.

    Post # 10
    1313 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: A very pretty church.

    Calm down, if you can afford it you can afford it, if you can’t…you can’t. 


    If it is freaking you out maybe it does cost too much, for you.


    I sympathise with the Australian diamond market situation, some of the quality is frankly embarassing (for the price) and they prey on the ignorance of their customers.


    This being said, your engagement ring is always your engagement ring, if it shows that your situation when you got engaged was one of limited or even modest prosperity….why does it matter? We will one day be moderately wealthy, now we’re on a tight budget, my ring cost Aud$1800. For me that felt like too much, I looked at cheaper options, but he didn’t want something ‘too cheap’. It is not the last piece of jewellery we will buy.


    Never want to upgrade because of sentimentality? Never upgrade then. You can still buy other diamond jewellery later, not as a replacement, not as a sign of dissatisfaction in your engagement ring, but because you want it and you can. This can be more fun, dress rings can be a little more creative, flashy, because you won’t wear them everyday and aren’t trying to fit them with a wedding band/lifestyle etc.

    Post # 11
    325 posts
    Helper bee

    If you love the ring then go for it. It sounds like it’s not going to put you in any kind of bind, so enjoy your ring for the beauty it is. Especially since you don’t want to upgrade ever, just think, if this is what you love and will be happy seeing on your finger every day then just enjoy it for what it is. 

    Post # 12
    1224 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If you’re going to feel guilty every time you look at your ring, perhaps you should get a smaller one! I’m from the UK and am frankly bewildered by all I read on here about maximum finger coverage, bling and upgrades. I think people feel too much pressure to impress and keep up with other people, even at the risk of hurting the feelings of their SO.

    It’s great for you that you have a comfortable budget but you shouldn’t feel obliged to spend it all. Pick something you love and feel good wearing. Anything bigger than my current ring and I’d be terrifed of losing it or damaging it and it would spend more time in my jewellery box than on my finger which would be a shame.

    For the budget you have you could take a nice holiday to a place where you can get a good and reasonably priced diamond!!


    Post # 13
    1164 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s a gorgoues ring, I really like the thick band on you. I also approve of wanting a forever ring, I wouldn’t dream of changing my ring as it’s the one he proposed with and has all the sentimental value attached to it. But that is a lot of money! Are you going to feel comfortable wearing it? Will you worry constantly about the diamond falling out? Will you be able to shower with it on or would the price tag freak you out? What about washing up? What happens when you accidentally catch it in  cupboard hinge and the stone flies across the room and ends up chipped? Honeslty… it sounds ridiculous but it’s exactly what I managed to do with my sapphire within a month of having it! I was gutted but actually now quite like that I’ve added to the story of my ring because if I’m going to wear it for the rest of my life it’s going to end up with its own stories (I also like that the chip means I know I’m always wearing it the same way up)… having said that maybe I would’ve been less ok with it if it had cost as much as you’re looking to spend. In the end I think as long as you like what it looks like you will love your ring whether it cost $10,000 and has all the best specs or whether it cost $500.

    Post # 14
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    It’s gorgeous, you love it, you can afford it, buy it. The end 😉

    I’m an overthinker too 🙂

    Post # 15
    35 posts
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Get iT. You will love it. I live in Australia and spent same amount (from diamond wholesaler etc – I get the crazy markups). I freaked out wnen I learnt the cost but when I look at ring now, it’s not the cost but how pretty it is and how lucky I am haha. 

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