(Closed) I am so furious right now that I can hardly see straight!!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Document absolutely everything from here onwards with times, dates and details. Then she should contact a counsellor at her university. I’m sorry she’s going through this. Is she close to graduating?

Post # 18
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

As far as I know you don’t always need physical proof for harassment charges.

Post # 19
Member
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s incredibly easy to get a restraining order in most of the USA, you don’t generally need proof of anything. It’s usually not for a very long time, but it’s quick, easy, and painless, and being served with restraining order papers might spook the girls enough to make them back off in the longer term. That’s what I’d do. 

Post # 20
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

I’d try to snag what you can off Facebook now, if they have foolishly left it up there. Take screen caps in case it is removed once they realize consequences are brewing, and start by linking that information to the campus counseling office (the original post if possible.) 

Post # 21
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would have your sister just threaten them with the police first. One time my ex boyfriend started dating this girl who became obsessed with harassing me and calling me fat and just constant bullying for no particular reason. I was just 16 at the time so I talked to my parents an they told me to tell her thAt if she didn’t cut it out I was reporting her to the police for harassment. I told her this and I never heard from that bitch again!

Post # 22
Member
2624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@happilyeveraftergirl:  %100 CALL THE POLICE, REPORT THE HARRASSMENT AND BRING THE OTHER GIRL WITH HER FOR WITNESS, THEN GET A RESTRAINING ORDER/ORDER OF PROTECTION AGAINST THE MEAN GIRLS.

Post # 23
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
@Bebealways:  +1 this, absolutely.  Then if the girls try anything they’ll be breaking the restraining order, it’s a win/win for your sister

Post # 24
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would just try to be there for your sister. If she wants to involve the police I would help her do that. But she’s an adult and this needs to be her decision about how to handle it. I’d start with taking her out for a pamper day. Maybe go to the spa, her favorite restaurant, just do stuff to make her feel better. And talk the situation through with her. But she may have different ideas about how she wants to handle it and I would try to be supportive.

Post # 25
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Contact the campus police, ask them about contacting the regular police (I went to school in Newark, the regular police wouldn’t give a crap but the campus police was a subdividion, so they could issue restraining orders, etc.), and contact the Dean of Students.

Yeah, they’re in college and this kind of harassment is immature and unprofessional.

It’s bad PR for the school if this gets out, so if no one acts she can certainly threaten to go to the media about their immature students.

Post # 27
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

She should take a screenshot of the harrassing post & report to Facebook, then block them. At the very least she should notify Campus Security & the Dean’s office about their behavior. I’d get a restraining order too if they were physically violent. For the time being she should aviod any situation where she’d be vulnerable – ex. only park in heavily populated lots, don’t stay late alone in labs / library, don’t post her location on social media. I’m sure these bullies will get bored and move on to their next target in like a week.

Post # 28
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
@happilyeveraftergirl:  I’m going to preface this by agreeing with what
View original reply
@JenGirl:  wrote. Your sister is an adult. She is capable of making her own decisions. If she chooses to do nothing about this then you need to respect that choice and support her emotionally as best you can.

That said, if she does decide to fight back, here is what I would suggest:

1. Document EVERYTHING. See if the post is still on facebook. If it is, take a screenshot, save it to a special folder created for this issue, and print it out.

2. Start a log. Write down what happens, where it happens, when it happens, and who is there when it happens. It can’t be used as evidence, but it could give a lawyer or law enforcement somewhere to start if there is an investigation / trial.

3. Inform the school. Have her talk to the Dean of Students, security, her Residence Hall Director (if she lives on campus), an advisor. . . pretty much any adult who is in a position of power who can help keep her safe. Have her inform them about the situation.

3a. Side note: I say your sister should speak with them because she is an adult and she is the victim in this instance. If she wants you to go with her for moral support, then feel free to go to any meetings with her but you need to allow her to be the one doing the talking. If it seems like no one cares or is doing anything about the problem then that is when you should get involved.

4. When you request meetings with the people on campus send emails. This creates a paper trail that you can point to if they claim that you never informed them about a problem. And after she meets with them, have her send a followup email thanking them for their time. Have her be specific in her email (ie. “Thank you for meeting me on October 9, 2013 regarding the harassment incident I experience on October 1, 2013”). This shows that the meeting actually occurred and the situation in question was what was discussed. Save these emails, print them out, and put the print outs in a folder along with the log you created and the print outs of the facebook screenshots.

5. Keep this print out folder in a safe location. Do not lose it. It can act as a backup in case anything happens to the electronic version.

6. Continue to support her emotionally.

I know how much it sucks when your little sister is the target of harassment. I wanted to throttle the person responsible for going after my baby sister last year before she finished college. But she was smart. She stayed calm and collected. She informed the right people at her school and the police worked closely with her to try and figure out who was responsible – they had suspicions, but were never able to pin it down on that person. . . on the upside, their investigation got them to stop harassing her.

 

Post # 29
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am the same way with my sisters. And my sister sounds like yours, wouldn’t hurt a fly, cares so much about other people, gorgeous, soooo sweet etc. something like that happened to my sister n when she was in college. Her three roommates were so mean to her because she didn’t want to go out an party with them they made her life a living hell. Posting stuf on FB, non stop telling her to get out, ruining her clothes, locking her out of the room for hours, one time they took all her food out of the fridge and dumped it in her bed. Literally poured pop on her bed and all her food came out of the jars and bags and were dumped on her bed. My sister didn’t say anything to them because she was too afraid, but when I heard I swear I couldn’t see straight I was gonna go drive the two and a half hours and go beat those girls up and I never hit anyone before. Lol. But my sister begged me not to come down cuz it would only make it worse. Anyways what she did was move out of that dorm, and tried to ignore them and after time it worked. But I did tell my sister to file a police report but she didn’t want to because she was so afraid of them. But in the end karma got them and they all three dropped out an my sister graduated with high honors and has an awesome job now! But I know how you feel, it’s the worst feeling when someone does something to a family member who doesn’t deserve it and there is nothing you can do. 

Post # 31
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@happilyeveraftergirl:  I am the older sister and I am livid just reading this. My sister is 21 and im 29 so I can relate to this. My sister has ahd to deal with similar things. I would see if she can screen shot these things and document any future harrassment htat may happen. I would advise her to ignore it and not feed into it. The more of a reaction they get the more they will do it.

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