(Closed) I am so glad I found you gals…Please tell me I'm not going crazy! (long)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

It sounds like it’s in the works.

Do you have a walk date? I’d suggest giving him at least another six months or so.

 

Post # 6
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re not crazy! It sounds like you’re being reasonable. And so does he. I’d allow him some time to finish this… fake home improvement project… and see where that leads! Until then, welcome and you’re in good company!

Post # 7
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@sealevels:  hey there, I was in the EXACT same boat as you about a year ago. My fiance and I had been together for more than 6 years and it was to the point that I wanted to make sure I was the one he wishes to marry…tick tock tick tock, clock is ticking! One time after going to the Lakers game I got so fed up and got mad at him for not proposing. And that was totally psycho of me but as girls, sometimes you just can’t help it! He had to explain to me a few days later (after I calmed down) that he is working on things and for me to trust him 🙂 It sounds like your SO is working on popping the question at the right moment, w/o ruining the element of surprise. My fiance and I also went ring shopping together so it sounds like you’re heading the right direction. I’d say…take a deep breath and focus on the fact that you love him and when the right time comes, you will be so happy and everything is going to be great!!

Post # 9
Member
598 posts
Busy bee

Hmm sounds to me like the time is coming! And you are not alone, I’ve been with my SO for 6 years (although we started dating young, I was only 17.) The time will come when it is right, and according to your story I think the time is near!

Post # 10
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@sealevels:  Hey there…first of all, you have definitely found the right place because I felt exactly like you did about a month ago before I joined the hive. It is nice to know you’re not the only girl jonesing for a ring. I actually can relate to your story quite a bit, I know it’s really hard…the guys seriously are clueless to it unless you say something, and then you feel like a little spoiled brat or something when you have a *moment*. I recommend the post somewhere in *Waiting* i saw yesterday that outlines the STAGES OF WAITING. It’s hilarious and true.

So, my advice, come play on the bee frequently because it will keep you from bringing it up to him and every close friend you have. 2nd, trust him. He sounds like a great guy who wants to commit to you and buy you a ring soon. 3rd, it really sounds like he may have something in the works, but try not to get your hopes up too much in case he really is building that thing he mentioned at thanksgiving. I’ve made this mistake 1 too many times and I’m always flung back into Stage 2 (please refer to the post and if I find it i’ll add it to this board). He might even buy this ring and hang on to it for what seems like an eternity-I see that a lot on here.

Everyone is going to constantly tell you to be patient. I’m tired of hearing it myself, but it’s sound advice. If a man ever feels rushed into something like this he will RUN or resent you for it later. Plus, you want it to feel right on that day he presents it to you, not something you pushed him along to do. I truly think it’s going really well for you from what you posted, so dont’ fret too much. Just kill time in the hive and start supporting your fellow waiting bees 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@sealevels:  Add me to the 24 club! Been with my boyfriend a little more than 5 years now and I’m almost done waiting (if everything goes according to his plan at least).

In all seriousness, being patient is tough but it really is the best thing you can do right now. No one likes to feel a lack of control over their life and waiting for a proposal is exactly that. It’s scary and frustrating and, in my opinion, should be considered Unconstitutional (at least by U.S. standards) since it’s cruel and unusual punishment for a crime you didn’t committ.

However, no one likes to feel pressured into something they aren’t ready for or rushed to do something they already wanted to do. It does sound like your guy is getting ready for the next step and that’s something to be grateful for.And the last thing you want is to get engaged and start your lives filled with resentment or anger.

Just do your best and if you need to vent hop onto the forum for a bit. . . and indulge in a treat or two. . . or wine. I don’t drink, but I’ve been told it helps.

Post # 14
Member
31 posts
Newbee

I totally know how you feel. My SO and I have discussed this for months now and he told me to trust him, but he takes sooo long to decide on things esp on a big purchase! I broke down so many times and cried and started to resent him a bit. The last time I had one of this “moment” he said I am ruining the experience for him since he doesn’t like to see me cried. He said it makes him sad that I don’t trust him to get things done. This made me realized I was too caught up in getting engage that I forget that it is a special time for him too! Btw we also live together but I work in a different state so I commute back on the weekend and it has put a lot of stress on me and made me push to get engage more. Anywho, I hope you find all the support you need here. It is really great to hear that you are not alone on this waiting journey!

 

 

Post # 16
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

i decided i wanted to get married and i think it was a bit of a surprise to him- after 5 years – we are older, but he originally wasn’t for it, i decided to use my positive attitude – to know it was going to happen, to be happy – love him and insist that we get married…it took about 6 weeks for him to get me my ring – yes i picked it out and another month to agree on the date.  I super happy and he wants me to be happy, of course we will not have children..I have a grandbaby…but i am tired of being the girlfriend and i want to be the wife – yayy im so excited – i love my first engagement ring ever and look forward to my wedding in our backyard –

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