(Closed) I am so mad I am SHAKING!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 34
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@SweetartMD:  I wouldn’t be so sure they won’t come. They could just be trying to guilt you into changing your mind and letting them all attend. Stay strong!

Post # 36
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@SweetartMD:  From almost everyone I’ve spoken to, there is always some kind of wedding drama, and it often involves this kind of thing! My wedding is two years away and I am already feeling this type of stress. All you can do is be polite, firm and make sure that the people you are actually close to and who are there for you are taken care of. Others you don’t see often and you’re not close to hopefully aren’t going to be able to start something that will end up hurting you.

Post # 37
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@SweetartMD:  An apology from your mom to her half brother over the misunderstanding is not a big deal, really. It’s not like they’re asking for one from you! I would just let it all go and stop paying that part of things any attention. Don’t let it get you down, it’s all already done.

Post # 38
6109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“So I wrote to them and tried to be nice…. but now NONE of them are coming. So…. oh well. So just over this whole thing.”


Well I guess problem solved and they WILL get over it! 

Post # 39
9947 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012


To be honest, I primarily read only your own posts on this topic.  If I am now up to date… You invited 2, got guilted into 3 more = TOTAL 5 … then they wrote in (*Rolls Eyes*) 5 more = TOTAL 10

And now after trying to be super kind, and keep the quota reasonable with telling them “the score” on your Wedding size, costs and vision… NO ONE IS COMING

Sorry to hear this has been such a ta-do for you.

But honestly (and maybe someone else can benefit from this advice)… the minute you were guilted into the 3 additionals… then you caved.  The Floodgates were opened and all H3LL broke lose (lucky for you there weren’t long lost relatives coming out of the woodwork saying “Well Cousin so-in-so wrote her name in, and now she’s coming” ), because truly that is where I envisioned your story was going when I first read about the 3 extra write-ins.

Best advice ALWAYS is formulate a Guest List that the key people (Bride & Groom, and both sets of Parents) agree on, and stick to it.

Cause otherwise a trickle thru the Floodgates, can quickly become a deluge you can’t control.

And don’t even get me started on what all this can cost… more so if you have some particularly RUDE Guests who say they are attending, but then end up being No Shows.

Lol, as one of the Bee’s recently said (and I LOVE this Quote)…

THIS IS NOT A HOEDOWN !!  Folks, this is a Wedding, and there is Etiquette and Protocals associated with it because a Wedding has significant expenses.  Period.


Post # 40
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

You are not the bad guy, they’re just incredibly rude and don’t feel bad, you did the right thing…at the end of the day it’s your wedding and if you’re paying for it then they have nothing to bitch and complain about.


Post # 41
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What is this woman smoking? 10 extras? Seriously, that’s just taking the piss. Does she think it’s a free for all? Clearly she does. No, just no. I’m outraged on your behalf. Please please reply immediately to this woman and say

“dear pisstaker, please pick you favourite 3 of the 10 you’ve invited to my wedding without asking and we’ll see you on the day. If more than 5 of you turn up you’ll have to eat outside. “

Or something more polite.


Post # 43
2 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sister, I feel your pain.

This is currently happening to me and I want to melt some faces.

In my case, I am telling each person that we put the specific number of people on their RSVP FOR A REASON, it wasnt just a random number we put on there for fun. If they have an issue or anything like that then we appreciate their friendship but we cannot afford/accomodate the additional guests. This is my NICE/polite side, if they want to see my sassy side then  I will be more than happy to release some frustration 🙂


Goodluck 🙂


 and I have no idea how October is showing as my Wedding Date.. its actually July 14!

Post # 44
14 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

Our invitations just went out, and I am not looking forward to the drama that comes from RSVPs.  I feel like I can be strong about it, and I hope I actually am when it comes down to it.  If not, I know my Fiance won’t back down, haha.  It amazes me, though, every time I hear about this happening to people.  All of these people have been to weddings, have possibly had one of their own, or had someone close to them plan a wedding.  They HAVE to know there’s etiquette and protocol, right?  And they HAVE to have someone close to them go through the same thing at some point, right?  You would think so, and you’d think they’d be courteous enough not to do it, but I guess not…Just baffling.

Post # 46
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah I wouldn’t let it slide either. Especially if they weren’t invited in the first place. A lot of bees have great advice for you. Stick to your guns girl!

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