(Closed) I am SO mad with my fiancé.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9655 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

He was probably tired and stressed out from work. But it could be that you didn’t ask him whether he wanted to go or not. As you said it was your friend’s birthday dinner, not a friend of both of yours and it was your only night together.

ETA: Although him ranting on and on calling your friends boring, etc WAS out of line. You were both out of line.

Post # 5
Member
9655 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Hmm well I suggest you apologize for yelling back at him and telling him to shut up and hopefully he will apologize for his behaviour in return.

Post # 6
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

 Why have you guys not been seeing each other much in the past few weeks? Are you guys actually that busy, or are you and him not making time for one another? 

 

I feel like that is important to know in order to look at your situation. 

  

Post # 9
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@theone99:  Okay, that makes sense. I agree with the PP in that it sounds like he is upset partially because you guys don’t get to see eachother much, and he didn’t want to spend a free day with friends. Even if he said it was okay, I can imagine that after the dinner he began feeing different. That is not an excuse, but it makes it understandable. 

     I think both you and he need to apologize for the way you treated each other in the argument, and in the future be easier on each other. You are both stressed, you should be acting as one another’s biggest fans.

Post # 10
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@theone99:  Yes, he definitely had a shitty attitude about the whole thing.  I agree he absolutely could have handled it better.  Once he cools off I would re-address the topic again, validate his reasons, but ask he simply handle himself better going forward.

I would also recommend you ASK him before committing him to plans.  If someone asks you if BOTH of you would like to go out, say “Sounds good to me, let me ask Mr.99.  I’ll get back to you.”  Even if he said “yeah, no problem” AFTER you committed, you still committed the both of you.  If you ask him first, at least you can say “You agreed to do this!”

 

Post # 12
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you may want to tell him that in the future you’ll run plans by him before committing. I would not apologize for your comments. You took getting bitched out by him for 40 mins before you went off on him. My Darling Husband and I definitely dont treat each other like that. 

Post # 14
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh I see your update and did run it by him. It sounds like he was just tired and grumpy and took it out on you. That is terrible. I hope he wakes up and realizes he was treating you poorly. 

Post # 16
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@theone99:  Ok, then he’s just being a jerk!  Don’t take it too personal.  My husband has taken crap out on me before and I’ve done the same.  It’s unfair and shitty.  But it happens and it doesn’t mean we care about each other any less.

Again, just wait for him to cool off and talk about it again.  Be calm but firm.  Don’t perpetuate the issue by yelling at him, being sarcastic or bitchy.  Just be assertive… “Listen, we have to talk about last night.  What you did was really crappy.  You agreed to go out, didn’t have a good time, and got mad at me for it.  Do you see how unfair that is?” 

Make some type of agreement too.  Like, “Going forward, if we’re both out and having a crappy time, we’ll leave.”  Easy as pie!

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