(Closed) I am so stressed that I just might call everything off!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Buy the house. 

 And if possible, instead of cutting your guest list, have a much more informal/less expensive wedding so that everyone you love can be there. But, even if you can’t change the style of your wedding at this point., buy the house. 

Post # 4
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I think the clear choice here is to go forward with the home.  Like most people say, the wedding is one day, but your home is the foundation of your future with your Fiance.  Of course, you will have to deal with explaning to certain people about your having to cut the list, but it is something that must be done and it will be worth it.  But think about it, after your wedding, you will have a place call home with your new hubby.  Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2007

Agreed- try to cut back on the wedding expenses & not the guest list if you can do it!

Post # 6
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Buy the house Buy the house Buy the house! The wedding is just a celebration of your lives coming together. The house IS your lives coming together. This is a once in a life time opportunity!

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

And what about not getting married in NYC? I know how expensive it can be there. Try just going right outside the city… like your new home will be! And hopefully your vendors will work with you. I’m sure they would rather have the business than not. But I would absolutely buy the house.

Post # 8
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

yes, i would go for the house too.  as for the wedding, instead of having a formal dinner reception, go for an afternoon cocktaiil hour.  or even better, elope w/ close friends and immediate family!!  

i think the money should be put toward your future with your Darling Husband to be, given the situation you’re in.  good luck!!

Post # 9
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Buy the house!!! My cousin lives in NY — he got married in New Jersey to defray the costs of buying a home! 

Post # 11
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Then cut the guest list and buy the house.  In a year, you can have an anniversary party– open house — at your new home and invite everyone. 

Post # 12
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

BUY THE HOUSE! BUY THE HOUSE! BUY THE HOUSE!

Alright. Now that I got that much out!

I think that is the only option. I would also consider changing the wedding location (to just outside the city) or the date (to a later date where you can save a bit more money).

Sit down and look at the guest list. See if you can cut out some non-essential people – dates/relatives you never see/parents friends/ect. The consider what you can save money on – cheaper meals, less booze, different location, etc. I really think if you try hard enough you can do it so it’s within your budget.

Post # 13
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Yeah, buy the house.  I second the idea of changing the venue/style of the wedding and preserving the guest list, if possible.  I know you said you can’t, but I for a brief second thought about switching my wedding to my hometown, which would probably still cost less even with the deposits we’ve already paid…just a thought.  I’m getting married in SF, so I know how expensive these big city weddings are…anyway if you can’t do that, go through the guest list and figure out people whose addresses you didn’t ask for, and if they’re B-listers, don’t invite them.  And…even if you have asked for addresses, if they’re people you rarely see and are not very close to you, I think it’s appropriate to not invite them, even if you think they expect an invite.  It’s not like you actually invited them.  And finally…cut costs wherever you can if you end up going wtih your current venue.  I think, in the long run, your top priority should be getting the house, and number two should be preserving the guest list as much as you can.  Your marriage is the most important thing, but having your loved ones around you when you make this committment is really important too.  In My Humble Opinion.  And both are more important than having a beautiful and fancy wedding.  (which is still kinda important)  Good luck, and congrats on finding the perfect home!  Sorry for the long post.

Post # 14
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

As fellow New Yorkers who are still looking to buy – while slowly realizing that prices in our beloved ‘hood will probably not allow us to buy – I say drop everything and BUY THE HOUSE!! Go for it and take that fantastic leap. Don’t even worry about the cut guest list. I agree with pp, this way you’ll be behooved to invite only those who really matter as opposed to inviting people who are not as close but somehow make the list(the old podiatrist from down the block, retired work colleagues of your dad etc.)
 
Good luck!! It’s a marvelous thing and I wish you both much happiness. 

Post # 15
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I know that it seems like a really tough decision now, but I am thinking when you look back on it while watching your kids play in a the backyard amongst the skyline you will not regret  thinbuying the house.  Would it be possible to move the reception to another venue that is not as expensive?  By The Way I grew up in the area you are speaking about and it really is a great place to raise a family!  I am assuming you are looking around Edgewater based on your description and there are alot of nice shops and restaurants in that area (especially in hoboken) Also, access to the city is so easy and the homes are gorgeous.  Affordable homes with views like that are hard to find, but there are so many wedding venues that you may be able to afford!!  I know most people who live in the city may look down on having their receptions in NJ, but there are so many gorgeous venues that you can get for half the price of NYC! 

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