(Closed) I am so stressed :(

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We’re dealing with money stress.  We’re paying for the wedding on our own and it’s getting tough.  We’re having our wedding at a State Park Lodge.  I love the rustic-ness of it.  And the rent was really cheap (under $300).  We’re having a more expensive wedding than you’re planning, but there would be ways to cut costs.  Our largest cost will be the menu and bar (about $5000), but we have a custom menu and top shelpf drinks.  I’m sure you could do it for much less.  There is the responsiblity of decorating and cleaning, but I hired a wedding coordinator that will be responsible for all that so I don’t have to do it.  You could probably hire a DOC that would do it too ($300-500).  Just a few ideas.  Good luck

Post # 4
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

First, congratulations on leaving an abusive husband. That must have taken a lot of guts, and I’m sorry if your family doesn’t see it that way.

Secondly, do you think you could set a tentative date two years from now to make your parents happy?

Also, I understand your desire to get married in a “real” reception hall. Not wanting to do any cleanup afterward, or set up before hand is totally understandable, however, there are several nice places other than reception halls (that aren’t the VFW either) that might help budget wise. I’ll go do a google search and see what I come up with.

I think, even if you aren’t in the DIY category, you can still have a nice reception on a budget if you look hard enough!

Good luck!

Post # 5
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Kudos to you for doing the right thing and starting your life over again!

Now to answer your financial dilemma.  I had two friends who went thru this and here’s what they did.

Destination wedding!

Since they’re not paying for your wedding, if the parents want to come, they can pay THEIR way to attend!  Have it at a resort where if you stay (for the Honeymoon say 7 days) they’ll do the wedding either for free or for a song!  There are also very workable packages you can find at some all inclusive resorts which will make you feel like the Princess Bride you deserve to be without breaking the bank.

I’m sorry both sets of parents aren’t providing financial assistance.  I’m an encore and did my first wedding pretty much on my own and definitely this wedding too!

Check out the encore board also.  Some great ideas abound there and the destination weddings board too!

Hive hugs! 

Post # 7
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

That looks like a great place VegasBaby! I noticed they also do Friday/Sunday packages which are usually at a good discount so that could halp with your budget. Good luck!

Post # 8
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We are dealing with the exact same thing!  We have a ton of student loan debt for each of us having 4 years of undergrad and my fiance went to grad school–where I then worked 2 part time jobs to make things work soooo completely been there and understand 150%

I wanted a fab Disney Fairytale Wedding….I wanted fun…relaxed…and friends there above all (since we have most of our friends in Florida and we now have livedn in VA, and TX and havent seen them)…pricetag….$35K AT LEAST!!! Not in the budget…we tried for 20K and realized we would be waiting around far too long—we have already been together engaged for a year and a half by the time we are getting married now and I did not want to wait any longer…Solution….DESTINATION DISNEY/CRUISE WEDDING!! 

We have in total at this point spent just under the 10K goal. We have people coming and they are spending like $400 or a little more to be there for 4 nights all inclusive!  Not too bad in my opinion (I mean guests expect you to pay for their meals/bar for a normal reception–and that’s like 100-200 anyhow so that was our justification in asking people to join us and us not footing the cost in the grand scale $400 isnt much for a trip!)

We are taking a 4 night cruise and booked a larger veranda room for the stay (approx $2000, and you can pay in installments!)

The wedding package (on deck 7 while docked naussa -atlantis will be out backdrop!) includes the ceremony, marriage license, cake, champagne for a toast, ceremony music (pianist), first dance, and also a “special gift” upon arrival and $100 on board credit, a fresh floral bouquet and flower for groom $2500

We also in our costs have the invites we did ourselves, flights, hotel the night before, hotel at disney for 3 nights (mini honeymoon) 4 days of tickets at the parks, meal plan (4 nights 3 meals a day at any disney resturant all included!) a bottle of wine each night of the cruise, and each night in the resturant at the parks, this also includes 2 rental cars, one before the cruise and one after the cruise. 

We did welcome bags for the guests, I bought my dress, rented the tux, purchased the groomsmen ties, and made the bridesmaids photo books….there are also some various DIY things for the rooms for the guests and in all honesty its coming together great!

We have 15 of the 28 we invited attending and could not be happier!!! 3 months and counting and ALL PAID OFF!!!! Trust me YOU CAN DO IT!!!  Just do some digging and make it your own!

Post # 10
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ok, deep breath. How many people are you planning on inviting? We can help you find something! Even if it means hiring a DOC to clean up afterwards so you won’t have to!

Post # 15
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

get bridesmaids/really good friends and make it clear that you’re doing this on a budget so they will have to do real WORK. i was in a wedding where we did set up AND breakdown for her brunch and evening dance. that’s what you do for friends. but keep EVERYTHING else v. low key and make it easy to set up (read no fancy centerpieces that have to be set up exactly so) and write VERY heartfelt thank you notes.

Post # 16
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

DOC = day of coordinator. Depending on how experienced this person is, it might only be a couple hundred dollars to hire someone. My boss is actually doing this as a gift for a friend who’s getting married. Maybe you’ll have someone who would do the same for you.

Also, about the ship cleanup situations, I think the cateres will usually help clean up and the onsite person for the ship will usually help.

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