Post # 1
Here is the story:
There are 5 girls in the wedding party for a friend of mine (including myself). 3 of us are out of state (less than 2 hours away though) and the other 2 are in state (1 being the sister/MOH). Together there are 7 of us contributing to the cost of the Shower (BMs/MOH/mother of bride and bride’s aunt). Maid/Matron of Honor has asked all of us to contribute $150 towards the cost of the weddding – this is not the problem.
The problem is:
The shower is sheduled for mid-June. The MOH waited until April to start planning the shower. We kept asking her for ideas of what she wanted to do (since it is in her home state and she is more familiar w/ venues and we are just going by pics online). She procrastinated – we sent her tons of options, all being shot down. Finally, w/ 2 months to go she picked a place. It is at a local restaurant and we will be serving appetizers and drinks.
We asked her about themes, we gave her ideas – everything being shot down but she didn’t have any definite idea of what she (MOH) wanted. She decided on a theme but didn’t tell us what she need to buy to get the ball rolling. 2 of us have constantly been asking her to give us some tasks to complete for the shower – we have offered to drive the 2 hours to help pick out invites, write the invites, purchase centerpeices, and brainstorm. She has declined our help stating it is all done and easier for her to do it anyway. We don’t know what the venue looks like, the invites look like, or the centerpeices – although we have asked numerous times.
fast forward to today:
We got the invite in the mail and it is HIDEOUS!! Its a random invite that doesn’t go along w/ the shower theme, it looks cheap, and I’m ashamed that these things were sent out. And to top it off – the Maid/Matron of Honor only put her name on the invite as being the hostess. WTF?!?!
We are all pissed that we aren’t being included in the planning but are expecetd to pay up and contribute to the costs. We are also pissed that the invites look like crap and we don’t want our names to be associated w/ something like that. And we are anoyed that we will be showing up to a shower w/o a clue to whats going on and we want to know where our $$ is going to (and we know it wasn’t towatrds the craptastic invites!!)
How would you Bees feel? Are we out of line here?
Post # 3
UPDATE to my VENTING!!!
So today we are less than 2 weeks away from my friend’s Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party at night….
So far the Maid/Matron of Honor has excluded us all from the shower stuff – she tells us everything AFTER the fact (after she purchases things, after she schedules things) and everytime we ask what the favors are, do we want to do games, she never answers our questions.
So imagine my surprise today when I wake up and see an email to all of us girls from the Maid/Matron of Honor – she has decided to spend the rest of our $ left over for the shower (money that was going towards the Bachelor party dinner and drinks) for a limo. A limo?!?!? Then she says “Well there wasn’t any $ left over to cover dinner and drinks and drinks for the Bride so everyone is on on their own for the night – sorry. And by the way, I need to know like yesterday if we want the limo or not”. WHAT?!?!? We never talked about getting a limo, and the last I heard, the bride only wanted to go uot for a nice dinner and go back to someone’s house and hang out and drink – not light up the town in a limo 45mins away!!!
We should have had $300+ left over to cover us for the night. She states that she has “tried” to keep us in the loop (umm NO).
Do you think she should have booked transportion w/o consulting us on how much $$ she is spending? We could have found alternate transportation for cheaper our booked a hotel room for all of us to stay overnight on the same street as the bars. We are all B*llsh*t w/ the way she is hiding everything from us – and expecting us to keep dishing out $$ to cover costs – especially since I have my own wedding to pay for and some of the girls are flying in for the weekend.
Post # 4
That is horrible. She definitely would not get another cent from me!!! What did she pay for, if all that money doesn’t pay for dinner, drinks or a limo for the night. Just the crappy invites??? Where is the party? At the Taj Mahal??? Maybe as a group you can all ask to see receipts/know what she paid for with your money??? That is totally rude. I’d say that she has some major explaining to do, and hopefully money to return to you ladies. I think you BM’s will have to come together to confront her though. Good luck. I would feel like you do. You all gave her a huge chunk of change.
Post # 5
She sent another email saying “weel obviously bridal showers anbachelorette parties are expensive”. Yes, I understand being in a wedding is expensive, but what I don’t get is why we had a budget and the budget was not stuck to. She can’t stick to her budget because she dragged her ass about planning this. If she had planned ahead of time (like the rest of us tried to get her to do) she would have stayed in budget and there wouldn’t be all this last minute scrambling to get stuff for cheap.
I know she is going to say something to the bride (aka her sister) about us giving her a hard time because of all this which sucks becaus enow the bride’s night will be ruined. I told my BMs (two of whom are also in this wedding party) that I didn’t want a bachelorette party because of all this drama. Its ruining all the fun….
Post # 6
That is terrible! I would definitely stop giving her any more money. Don’t think there’s much you can do now though, other than complain… and you don’t want to give the bride a hard time; it’s not her fault…