Post # 1
A little background – this is what his sister did before the wedding
So she dropped out of the wedding party – but shows up at the rehearsal dinner (just the dinner part not the church part) does not get up to say hi, shows up with a friend (not her husband or kid), and is whispering the entire time. I am super annoyed that she even shows up at all.
She comes to the church and as we are going to start walking outside to be greeted by bubbles – she sneaks out the side door with her husband. She shows up at the reception – comes through the receiving line does not say hello or congrats – does not give us a gift – and doesn’t even bother saying goodbye.
I am sorry – I really don’t like her and she has done nothing but cause problems. Is it extremely awful if I don’t send a thank you?
Post # 3
Thank you for what? It looks like you bought HER two dinners and that’s all.
Post # 4
@krstino1012: I would not send her a thank you. Buuuut… It might be in your best interest. Not sending anything will just send her more into crazy town. I think by sending a thank you, it would make her look dumb if she were to try to talk trash about you.
Post # 5
@krstino1012: I thought thank you notes were to thank people for gifts. Perhaps I am wrong and you are also supposed to thank people just for attending. If you intend to have future interactions with her, it would be easier to just write her a (brief) thank you note than cause any further grief…”thanks for sharing in our special day!”
Post # 6
@krstino1012: You only have to send thank you cards to people who bring gifts, help with the wedding or are in your bridal party. She did none of those things, so there is nothing to thank her for.
Post # 7
I’m confused – if she didn’t give you a gift, for what would you be sending a thank you?
Post # 8
If she brings a gift, you send a thank you. Unfortunately she’s family now, and in situations like this sometimes you have to take the high road. If you don’t send her one, it creates the potential for more drama you don’t need.
Post # 9
@krstino1012: I don’t think you should stoop to her level. As much as you don’t want to, and I understand where you’re coming from, you still should send her a card. Just keep it short and direct. “Dear Jane and John. Thank you for being a part of our day. We have so many beautiful memories that will last us a lifetime. Love Betty and Brian.”
Don’t give her any more ammunition to cause problems. Just be the bigger person and get it out of the way. You’ll feel better for it in the long run.
Post # 10
Like the other girls, I don’t think you need to send her a thank you because by the sounds of it she didn’t do anything that you should be thankful for!
Post # 11
@krstino1012: Thank you notes are for gifts. If she didn’t gift, she doesn’t get a thank you.
You’ve already thanked her by hosting her at your reception. (It may make you feel good to know that she should have thanked you via a bread and butter note for your hospitality, but don’t hold your breath).
To thank her again can be seen as fishing for gifts.
Post # 12
No. Ignore her. She’s obviously starved for attention and is probably feeling like you stole her brother from her or something. I’m dealing with some pple like this in my SOs family right now. They cannot be logically dealt with. Ignore her ass.
Post # 13
Did she give a gift? if not no thank you needed. if yes you need to send a thank you.
Post # 14
Nope. If I’m reading this correctly she never gave a gift. The reception is how you thank the guest for attending the wedding ceremony, a thank you card is how you thank your guests for leaving a gift.
Post # 15
[Comment moderated for trolling]
Post # 16
Not awful at all. She can go suck a lemon 🙂