Post # 1
I am the groom’s sister and have been asked to be one of the bridesmaids. I’m currently pregnant and will have a 3-month-old at the wedding. I hope to be breastfeeding exclusively still at that point, so my brother and sister-in-law-to-be decided that I will be allowed to bring my baby, though no one else invited to the wedding can bring kids or babies.
I feel a bit embarrassed that other people have to leave their babies at home, while mine will be obviously present. (Sitting with my husband at the ceremony.) I’m a first-time mom and am not at all comfortable leaving the baby with someone other than my husband or mom, dad or sister, who will all be at the wedding and not able to babysit. In-laws are 8 hours away.
Should I feel like a jerk? I can’t really do much about it, I guess, as it’s not my decision and I don’t want to disappoint my SIL by declining to be a bridesmaid. But would you be annoyed if you had to leave kids at home but saw a baby present? My brother claims I get special dispensation as his sister, but I still feel weird.
Post # 3
Nah… I wouldnt think twice about it. If it was another random guest’s kid maybe I’d be a bit annoyed, but you are the groom’s sister so I’d just assume that it was kids of immediate family and it would be all good to me.
Post # 4
I think breastfeeding newborns are always an exception!
I invited a 4 month old to my wedding (it was a no-kids wedding, but I figured he was so young), but the parents were excited to leave him with a babysitter.
Post # 5
We’re allowing just nieces and nephews. I think that’s a normal exception for a couple to make, especially when it’s an infant.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Considering that there have been recent posts with the opposite concern (bride’s sister not attending reception because her child can’t), I would advise that you graciously accept the offer.
By the three-month mark, you may find that you are comfortable having a close friend babysit, so you could pump beforehand. It’s totally your choice- if you decide you want to have a “night out,” the opportunity is there.
Wedding guests should understand that family gets special privileges. If it still bothers you closer to the wedding date, why not invite your in-laws into town for that weekend? I’m sure they’d *love* some time with their grandbaby, and there will be a lot of activities that weekend (rehearsal dinner, day of preparation), which would be easier for you to manage with a babysitter.
Post # 7
Breastfeeding newborns and bridal party are usually exceptions to the rule, so no.
Post # 8
I agree that newborns are an exception, especially for a bridesmaid who will be taking photos and traveling with the bride all day instead of just attending the ceremony and reception. You can’t be expected to leave your new baby for that long! The only thing that would make me raise an eyebrow is if you stayed late into the reception when the “dance party” portion begins, because obviously it’s probably not a good idea to have an infant around when people start getting drunk.
I would also make sure the reception venue knows that you’ll have an infant a little in advance (at least a day or two) so they can let you know a private spot where you can breast feed and that you have a nonalcoholic toasting option (we’re giving our venue a list of non-drinkers who will be served sparkling grape juice).
Post # 9
Both breastfeeding newborns and Bridal Party members are standard exceptions, so I wouldn’t worry too much. The only reason I’d be cautious about a baby there during the ceremony is the possibility that the baby will cry and have to be taken out, which means whoever takes the baby out has to miss the ceremony. If you are at a point that you could manage to leave the baby just for a couple hours with someone, it would be easier on you.