(Closed) I am the workplace "liar", feeling defeated.

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 2
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m not sure about everything else, but if I were a supervisor, in all honesty, I would bit a bit concerned about an employee who ‘lost a few hours of work for wedding-related meetings’. Especially when it sounds as if you have missed some time due to medical issues. The medical thing is totally understandable, but to add on to it losing time for your wedding, yes, your supervisor may think that you have bride-brain right now and aren’t 100% focused on the job. 

I would just make sure all of your ‘i’s are dotted and your ‘t’s are crossed for everything in the future since it sounds like she will be watching you. Double check yourself. Keep good records. Don’t let yourself be caught in a situation where your work ethic or practices will be questioned; show them you are a dependable and competent employee.

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 3
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium

I don’t think there’s anything that can be done at this point with those three situations. From here on out though I’d try to make sure there aren’t any problems and work to gain her trust back. If you are unsure about anything ask someone, if not your boss maybe a co-worker can help you out.

The medical stuff shouldn’t be a problem becaue that’s understandable and you have the doctor’s confirmation. I’m not sure when your wedding is, but do whatever you can to keep it from getting in the way of work. If more meetings pops up that can’t be scheduled outside of work hours maybe your fiance or a friend who knows what you want and are planning can fill in.

Post # 5
1531 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Hmm – I was a manager for a long time with a large organization and I dealt with a plethora of illness related absences, none of which were wedding related. Had I even one 30 minute absence for a wedding related issue, I would be going over the total time off and viewing the issues with a lot of skepticism.

I’m sorry, but business is business and my boss would have come down on me for a performing my duties incompetently. Since you are my responsibility, I really couldn’t argue the point could I?

I don’t believe for a second you are incompetent, perhaps just young and inexperienced. Unfortunately the world outside of your world is vicious and unpredicable. For every job you aren’t able to perform, there are dozens, if not hundeds of people who will.

Protect yourself and your personal life from any further scrutiny and plan your marriage on your days off.

Let us know how you are doing ok? I do hope you can sort this out.


Post # 6
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

WeddingBells2014:  I’m sorry, I guess I misunderstood. You said, ‘But then at the beginning of September I had to lose a few hours of work to attend wedding related meetings‘ in addition to your medical time off, so I thought that meant you took time off work for wedding-related issues.

Regardless, you are a newer employee and there have been mistakes made on your watch, whether or not they were entirely your fault. That coupled with the lost time is going to make any employer a bit uneasy this early in the game. I advise you with the same motto I do my students: ‘facta non verba–actions not words’. Don’t tell your supervisor that you aren’t lying about these issues; show her you are a worthwhile, competent employee by doing your job and doing it well. You need to stop trying to convince her you aren’t lying. Let these past incidents go and make sure you do everything you can to ensure no more happen. 

I know this must be a very stressful time for you, especially with the onset of medical issues. Just take a deep breath and think of Tuesday as a new start. Forget the past and work on the future. Good luck, and an extra wish of good luck for your upcoming wedding!

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 7
7524 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Did they actually use the words “liar” and “lying”? Because that is harsh and unacceptable to me. No one calls me a liar- and on the flip side I would never say that to someone directly.  Or was that just implied or you inferred it?

Post # 8
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Try not to lose any time from work for wedding planning (I am not sure if you have had the wedding or not) anymore. If you have to delegate to Fiance or even the bridal party or other family to take care of these things because you are having trouble at work, I am sure they would help you. Also, the next time something is wrong, apologize to your supervisor. Apparently, she does not want to hear an excuse, whether it is true or not. Also, document things as much as you can. Seriously with dates and times. This should include documenting her behavior. In the future, this may save you from being written up or worse. Good luck with work, I hope things improve for you.

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