(Closed) I am totally overwhelmed! :(

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

((Hugs))

To whom do you feel you have to defend yourself? 

Creativity, DIY and being flexible are all great things, but sometimes there’s just going to be a gap between expectations and what’s possible – and that’s no one’s fault.  You do the best you can and, if other people think it’s not enough they can go jump in the proverbial lake. It’s also, I imagine, really upsetting to feel as though the entire planning process is just one long surrender to “no” and “can’t.”

Have you considered the possibility of a small, luxe destination wedding?

Post # 4
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I felt this way at the beginning of my planning process. The truth is, every bride “deserves” a gorgeous wedding with ALL the family and friends she wants to invite and a honeymoon for her and Fiance. But life’s not fair and we don’t get to have what we “deserve.” Also, no matter how big your budget is, there are always brides with bigger budgets. I think it’s unfair that I have to work ridiculous hours at a job I don’t like so I can pay for my wedding while other brides get $$ from their parents. I think it’s unfair that we can’t afford our dream honeymoon. But at some point, you stop thinking about what’s fair and what you deserve and just work with what you have. 

I think it’s not our place to tell you what to cut. But I think it’s clear you have to cut something. Your other option is to wait a couple more years, which I know isn’t fun. Plenty of brides delay honeymoons or have intimate celebrations with 20-25 guests. Plenty of brides have super-long engagements to save up. Just figure out what’s most important to you and compromise on the other stuff. 

Post # 6
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Budget issues are some of the hardest things to deal with when planning a wedding, so know that many, many people have had the same or similar struggles with how to use the limited resources they have on the wedding and honeymoon of their dreams.

there’s a lot I could say here, but I think best thing is just ((Hive Hugs!))

What about doing a WDW destination wedding all in one?

Post # 7
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@amiles – You’re welcome!

Is this one of those things where your family or FI’s has lots of opinions about how a wedding HAS to be done that don’t match up with the budget?

Post # 8
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Are you completely set on your wedding date? I know that in some areas venues will be much cheaper if you have your wedding on a Friday or Saturday.

Post # 9
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you need to defend yourself.  I think that’s a really hard budget to fit in for 100 guests even though it is a lot of money. 

My advice would be not to cut the guests – I really agree with you that this is one of those events that are ways to reconnect and a lack of invitation can be a nail in the coffin. 

I won’t advice you to cut the honeymoon because, geez, a couple of days isn’t much to ask.  But I will say, you’ve managed to save $6000!  Why wouldn’t you be able to save that much and more in the future?  Of course you will – and you can take many vacations in your life. 

I would maybe try to look at it not as a wedding but as party, because a party for 85 people is a lot cheaper than a wedding.  Think outside the box (the way you are inclined to anyway).  The rings even don’t have to be bought now, or could be two simple bands for a couple hundred dollars.  The only things necessary is the officiant, and food and drink for guests eveything else is optional IMO.  I’d get someone to take pictures but it doesn’t have to be expensive (think of the amazing photos our parents and grandparents have, there aren’t many but they are amazing for the emotion captured), not only can you do beautfiul flowers from the grocery store but flowers aren’t necessary at all.  You can throw a kick ass party.  And it will be a sweet and wonderful wedding because the two of you are in love and surrounded by friends.

Post # 10
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Hi,

I am originally from North Central Massachusetts, and I’d be happy to try to assist you with finding a venue, and budgeting ideas.  Feel free to email me, and lets brainstorm and see what we can come up with.  I did a $5K budget wedding for my daughter’s wedding last August for 65 people, and I bought all glass dishes and satin overlays.  It can be done for more people.  Email me at [email protected], and put North Central Wedding, or something like that so I know it’s not spam.  Rhonda

Post # 11
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Whether your budget is $2000 or $20,000..every bride has to prioritize about where the money goes. While you don’t have to defend your desire to have everything you want, accepting that something has to give will make you feel happier in the short run. No, it’s not fair. But that is just what has to happen. Forget what you “should” have if you can, because at this point, it is just going to make you more unhappy.

I would sit down, and think about what aspects of your wedding are most important to you. From your post, it looks like honeymoon, guests, and dancing are in your top 3. Everything else just can’t have the same level of attention. This means that maybe a friend can volunteer to be your officiant for free, that your wedding might be on an off-day in a less popular location, that you are going to provide some of the food yourself instead of hire a caterer, etc.

Goodluck!

 

 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hi smiles, I feel your pain. Truly. Take a deep breath, step away from the budget and the pictures and the blogs, and drink a glass of wine or a hot chocolate. IDK when you first started looking and planning, but it’s way overhwelming. You can have a beautiful wedding, but compromise might have to be a part of it. A few things we might do to cut costs…iPod instead of a Deejay (not my first choice but it’d be ok), a cookout instead of a caterer, and flowers from costco in jars I am saving aready. Good luck gal, it will allllllllll turn out wonderful!

The topic ‘I am totally overwhelmed! :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors