- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
I’m here to vent…I have posted several times in various threads about my current budget and such, but it’s getting to me….
My Fiance and I recently bought a house (w. his rents help for the downpayment, so they are tapped for trying to help w. the wedding too..and I get that, for sure!)
Then my rents don’t have the $ to help…so I’m looking at whatever my Fiance and I can save btwn now and our wedding date, which is supposed to be for May 14, 2011. This grand total, for Honeymoon and wedding is looking like maybe $5000…$6000 if I penny pinch.
I had originally worked on setting up our venue at the local Elks, but have since had problems with the very rude Groomsmen and so am not using them now.
Thus, am venueless.
My other reason for using the Elks in the 1st place was their total cost and the fact that it’d nicely fit whoever I decide to invite (which is another major problem for me to cut down the guest list) AND has a dance floor.
I don’t want to have to not have dancing…it’s something I just think wouldn’t be right for my Fiance and I without music/dancing. 🙂
Also, his family/friends are all local and much smaller in total, than my family/friends (which include divorced parents sides of the family, my step dad’s family and my friends – all of whom live all over the country. A majority of them are on the East coast, but that doesn’t make it easier.
So, I was trying to keep our list to under 100…like 85 at the most, by the looks of it, and that’s still having cut some people. Then when I look at our budget again, I see that I need to seriously cut more people, but some people I just can’t see not inviting (and whether they attend or not is another story…). I’ve lived all over the place for my whole life and have FINALLY made it to a place I have become more rooted and though I haven’t physically seen some of these people (family/friends)in a long time, I feel that since if I don’t invite them to the biggest celebration of my life now, than odds of seeing them again is tough. That may sound weird to some…but if you are anything like me by having lived a military lifestyle growing up and have moved several times since h/s-college-after…, and you haven’t made it to see those family/friends b/c life gets crazy…..ya probably won’t. and I hate the saying ‘well that’s how it is’.. it sux!
I know that people say they will visit or whatnot, with the best of intentions, but it’s hard when those people have children (when I don’t have children right now in my life) and when getting time off work isn’t easy and travel (that’s a huge part of it!) It’s just painful for me to not be able to invite these family/friends that live farther away to my wedding day! Yes, I know that not everyone will be able to attend, but to extend the invite is the 1st step.
I also have to keep in mind my budget. I can’t invite all 85 or more just for the sake of inviting them and then hope they don’t all come. I have to plan for what if they DO all come…then I have to afford their meals, etc. So, it’s so catch 22!!! I want them to come, but can’t afford it and am afraid I’ll never see them again or who knows when I’ll see them….
Then there’s the issue of the Honeymoon….I also don’t want to budge on my Fiance and I going to WDW as we originally planned. Though this also makes our wedding day budget about $2000 if we do that. Though I hate the thought of just going for the weekend locally ‘b/c we can’t afford’ anything else. Are we ever going to!? I feel like we CAN afford our Honeymoon, but then I HAVE to cut people or somehow get family to help when I know $ is tight….grrr!
I know my luck in life and it’s not good..hahha..for the most part…and most times when things get put off…they don’t get done.
So…the final question…how the hell do I get a ceremony and reception in Nrth Central MA for under $2000 to include rental fees, food, decorations, attire, rings!??
I really feel in ways that I have no choice but to either cut the guests and just not invite them or we have to not have our Honeymoon. I feel that I have the right to have what I want (w/in reason…I have already had other wedding dreams blown to bits by others…’oh that’s too expensive, how are you going to do an hors d’ouevres reception…isn’t that going to cost more..etc.’
I want SOME individuality to my wedding, NOT just traditional. Yes, I’m more the bits of modern/unique while Fiance is about the ‘traditional’. WHY do we HAVE to be traditional just b/c it’s tradition….that doesn’t make it about the couple then necessarily does it!? (sigh)
I am just a mess and want to cry.
I feel my Fiance and I deserve to go on our few day trip to WDW, but I want to have the guests I want to..and it’s not like a huge list! It’s not even 100! I feel like I have to defend myself..and it’s all because my entire budget is around $5k and it’s where I live..
I see allll these other Bees out there talking about their budgets..or lack of..and it makes my heart hurt. I am happy that they are able to have such wonderful venues and budgets….but then my heart hurts MORE when I see others out there w/ the same budget as I have and they live in a place where they get awesome deals or have lots of family.friends to help or they are just lucky.
I guess I feel defensive. I feel like people are going to comment and say I should just be happy with my $5k, to cut down the list, cut my Honeymoon, cut out dancing, cut out having the meal I want and just go to the courthouse (or something like that) I feel like I’m having to defend myself for having a wedding at all!! 🙁
I feel like I should be able to have more than the courthouse (though no offense to those Bees that choose that…)
It’s one thing to choose to have no guests or no bridal party or no Honeymoon…but to already have a small budget and feel like I’m forced to NOT have any of the things I was looking to have…it’s just disheartening….
Anyway..thanks for listening to me vent. I really needed to…….
p.s. I have also purchased my dress…which I did a several weeks ago on a whim online…but thought I physically see it looks beautiful, haven’t been able to try it on yet..grr! I guess all the moving in to my new house and bad eating added on the lbs. so I can’t try it on just yet. That’s another issue……
Anyway…I’m done for now. haha. thanks.