(Closed) I apologize in advance for this long vent but I need advice.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would put my foot down and keep the shoes. I repeat, KEEP THE SHOES!

They arent the same shoes! Are they? You arent the first bride who wore blue shoes as her something blue. Nor is she. As for the venue, clearly no matter what you do, these people are whiners! So do what you want for your wedding. It is your wedding. They may or may not be part of your lives in coming years, do you really wanna look back and think to yourself “man i could of done this instead of that but we didnt so we wouldnt step on so-and-sos shoes.”

Seriously, do you really think they care if they pick anything you picked? Do anything similar to you? Nope! Tell your fiance you are in love with the shoes and that you are keeping them. He will have to suck it up and put on his big boy shoes. In fact, tell him to magically “forget” that he even knows what shoes youre gonna have. Tell him to play dumb!

Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do your wedding when and how you want. You aren’t stealing her ideas, it just happens to be coming together this way. I went to a wedding this summer and the bride used the flowers, decorations, favors, and paper styles, and even some music I had wanted to use, and we had never talked about wedding plans. I was upset, not at her but because my wedding suddenly felt less unique, but I have an awesome Fiance and bridal party that told me how ridiculous I was being and made me see sense- no two weddings will be the same and no one is thinking about little matching details like that.

I have a couple friendly acquaintances who got engaged months after we did, and are having the wedding within weeks of ours. A couple people asked if I was upset, but I hadn’t even thought of it, I love talking wedding stuff with them! Maybe talk to her and tell her you weren’t trying to steal anything, but you can have fun wedding planning together, even if there are some overlapping ideas.

Post # 5
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that while they guys in the firehouse are like “family”, they are not your family.  They are co-workers of your fh.  They will come and go.  I don’t think you should have to sacrifice a single thing for your wedding!  Wear those blue shoes and enjoy every minute of it!

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

your wedding is in April – they were planning a wedding in July, they need to get over it because no one “owns” a venue or a seaon/month to get married in/have a function, if they did then im guessing Jesus might be a bit upet youre getting married a day before his big weekend

and please KEEP THE SHOES – the concept of coloured shoes has been used by every other bride for a few years now so you are not stealing any ideas at all

try not to take everything so personally, if they want to be sour grapes about it thats their choice but dont let it affect your happiness

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I was a member of a firehouse for a long time…and I dated a firefighter for a long time…I wouldn’t stress yourself too much, unfortunately I found that there is no pleasing everyone.  Stick with your shoes…sure some may talk…but they chances are, they would talk anyway.  All that anyone will remember is how much fun they had!! 

Post # 8
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

The firehouse stuff is tricky. While I would love to stick with all the PP’s and say keep what you want and do what you want, I don’t care what other people think of me, nor would my Darling Husband ever “tell” me what to do.  If you’re going to be bothered by the fact that people are talking about you behind your back, which it sounds like they already are, then you might want to pick other shoes.

Post # 9
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t change your shoes!

The rest is just ridiculous. People get married in the same venue and even month all the time! My parents have gone to 3 weddings this year at the same venue. Just ignore them, they’ll get over it eventually. If not, they clearly need bigger things to worry about. 

Post # 10
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Seriously just because she and her future hubby are being bridezillas doesn’t mean you have to caterer to their whims. If less people catered to bridezillas then there would be less of them in this world. Just plan your wedding for you. Don’t plan your wedding to be completely different from this other couple because weddings look like weddings and have similar concepts. Ask your Fiance if you should wear a red dress since you know, the other bride will be wearing white and you don’t want to look like you are stealing her idea. Does that sound silly? So is making you not wear blue shoes. I’m wearing blue shoes for my wedding too and I don’t even know this girl so trust me neither you nor me stole this shoe idea FROM HER. She stole it from someone off the internet who was married years ago and isn’t keeping score 😛 Keep the shoes, lose the crazy thinking  🙂

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Seriously just because she and her future hubby are being bridezillas

ive been wondering if the other fireman is bitching because his Fiance is bitching to him or if he really cares about it for his own reasons

i think all the guys need to sit for a four weddings marathon to see how there is really nothing “unique” about any of these wedding ideas these days

Post # 12
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you should definitely plan the wedding you want to have, but I can kinda understand where this other bride is coming from too.

I know almost nothing is unique in the wedding world but maybe you girls can maybe have a little date to talk wedding details so that way you don’t overlap too much without making sacrifices.

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