(Closed) I broke my man’s budget, and I will not hear the end of it.

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Don’t feel guilty! I feel the exact same way as you – I’d like to cap the dress off at $2000, but if I find the one, I’ll spend more. As long as you feel good and are contributing, it’s your budget too… and when he sees you radiant on your wedding day, he won’t be thinking about the money. 

Post # 4
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I mean, personally, I wouldn’t have done it.  But guests and such are more important to me than the dress, and I wouldn’t want to struggle in all areas of the budget just because I splurged on the dress.  That dress is really beautiful, but I probably would have continued looking for something with a similar style.

You do look gorgeous in the dress though.

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

everyone has different priorities. it’s ok if yours is the dress! mine definitley is NOT a big guest list… and sometimes i feel bad about that, but that’s just me. don’t feel bad for liking certain things!

Post # 6
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

In all honesty, I would feel guilty too.  I personally do not think you did the right thing.  The dress is absolutely gorgeous, but part of marriage is compromise, and you and your FH made a financial agreement.  I understand he “agreed” to the final price, but it may have been hard for him to say no to the woman he loves in a gorgeous dress.

Post # 7
Member
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Its super cute.  Is your Fiance ok with having to cut back?

Post # 8
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think how you feel is how you feel. Everyone is different, and what they decide ultimately will be right for them.

I was in a similar situation. I fell in love with a $4200 designer gown, and after trying on everything else in the world, nothing else felt right to me. It was really unique and no other less expensive designers had anything like it. I talked to my husband (FI at the time) and finally, he decided I should get it because he saw how happy it made me. After a few months of thinking about it, I decided against it because it was $4200 BEFORE tax and alterations! I just couldn’t do it, personally, because it took away money that woul dhave been OUR money (stuff for both my husband and I, and his suit was far less expensive).

I ended up just saying screw it and got a tea-length Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in white ๐Ÿ™‚

There are times I wonder if I should had gone for the designer dress because yeah, it made me  feel amazing. But for the most part, I truly believe that I would have felt amazing on my wedding regardless because I was getting married (and I did feel amazing in my little $250 dress :). So for me, in the end, it wasn’t about the dress. BUT everyone’s different, and I never judge the girls that go for their dream dress because for them, it’s worth it.

Post # 9
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yikes – that’s a tough one.  I think it’s important to feel happy about your dress, but I guess it’s another thing when you are saying it’s affecting other aspects of the wedding which may be important to your Fiance (such as being able to afford to invite a certain number of guests).  Personally, I would have kept looking for a dress that I liked but also fit into the budget.  Maybe at some point your Fiance will find some other details that are important to HIM and decide to splurge on those things, and it will take some of the guilt off of you. ๐Ÿ™‚

For what it’s worth, it’s a beautiful dress and you look great in it!

Post # 11
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

If he agreed I think he’s wrong to ‘not let you hear the end of it’.  Once you agree to something IMO you give up the right to constantly make someone else feel bad about it.

I wouldn’t have bought the dress in your shoes (though it is gorgeous).  But you did and he agreed so he should shut up about it.  ๐Ÿ™‚

In the long run 2,000 is not so much money.  I don’t know your budget but I imagine it’s a lot more – so eh.  It’s only money.

Post # 12
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You still MAY be able to sell it. There are other petite girls out there!

Post # 13
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think you look beautiful and you should feel the best you possibly can on your day. That being said, there may be other options to get the look you want for much cheaper. A friend of mine consulted with Julius Bridal and showed them the dress she wanted and they replicated it for MUCH MUCH less. You don’t have to go to NYC to get a dress because they will ship it to you. I don’t mind trying on dresses that are significantly out of my price range because I know I can go here and have them make it for less. It may not be a perfect replica but it may be a good compromise that would make both you and your Fiance happy. It might be worth your while to call them just to see if it’s a significant difference in price.

Post # 15
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Also – don’t assume you won’t be able to sell it afterwards just because you are petite and short!  I am petite and short and I’m sure there’s plenty of other brides your size that would want that dress.  In fact, I think there’s a lack of preowned dresses in small sizes, so it may work to your advantage.  Plus, it’s a recent design and very beautiful – I think that if you wanted to recoup some of what you paid, you could totally do it.

Post # 16
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Did you look for a used version first?

I agree with meliss–there is always a chance you can sell it–there are other shorties out there!

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