- Pink Bubbalicious
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
I wrote this post (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/upset-ex-is-now-engaged-so-long-but-really-need-honest-advice) two months ago about finding out my ex (and first love) was engaged. The news really hit me hard and I wasn’t sure why because I too was engaged and happy, I tried to follow the bee’s advice and just ignore the feeling but it wouldn’t go away.I felt like I was keeping a secret from the world and it was really beating me down.
I tried so hard to just ignore it and kept telling myself that Andrew was a chapter in my life that was over and I almost had myself convinced that I was simply suffering from cold feet and that I was being unreasonable. I did not seek him out or message him on facebook, I just continued with my life as best as could.
About 2 weeks after my pitty party started I was shopping at Whole Foods when an all too familiar voice sounded behind me and said “well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes”. My heart sunk and I knew who it was instantly: Andrew. I tried to play it cool but he no doubt could tell I was nervous. We talked about the engagements, our upcoming weddings, and few things in between but nothing major. After about 5 minutes we shared a hug and were on our seperate ways. I didn’t even make it to the car before the tears started. I knew in my heart I wasn’t over Andrew and I didnt think I could go through with my wedding to Jackson (the former Mr.Bubbles).
I called Jackson and told him we needed to talk that night and that it was important. I explained to him the whole story starting with finding out that Andrew was engaged and how it hurt me and that I avoided it. I explained that I ran into him that day and it brought back all these emotions. I assured him that nothing had happend but I had the revelation that I did still have feelings for Andrew and that I couldn’t marry him. It was horrible bees, Jackson was (and is) so hurt and so angry with me. He keeps saying how I embarassed him and I’ve wasted his time and that he never wants to see me again. I completely understand his anger and pain and it kills me to think of how I’ve ruined his life.
I was completely depressed: my family was furious with me, 1/2 my friends wouldn’t talk to me as they were Jackson and I’s friends, and the other 1/2 just looked at me with pitty. I was sitting in my living room unpacking all the boxes I had packed the week previously in preperation for moving in with Jackson when my phone rang: it was Andrew. He told me he had heard what happend through some mutual friends and he wanted to talk. I was completely mortified but agreed to let him come over to talk.
He sat on my couch and we were silent for a good 5 minutes before he broke it with “so you have feelings for me”. I just started to cry because I was so embarassed and didn’t know how to respond. He slid over and put his arms around me and asked why I had shut him out completely after the breakup. We had a long talk about everything and he admitted that he too thought of me often through the years. He told me that when he heard I had called things off with Jackson he felt relieved because he too was feeling stir crazy about my engagement (he found out about mine on facebook). He said he was worried that he would never have time to make it right with me. He wanted to talk and that he saw my status update on facebook last week and thats why he went to whole foods, he knew I was going to be there and he wanted a chance to see me.
Long story short, Andrew called off his engagement and we are now living together. Things are going great with us but our families still have a hard time dealing with the fallout from cancelling weddings. We decided that we want to get married and will be doing so on April 29th at the justice of the peace.
My life is changing so fast but I really just wanted to update the bees who helped me with my dilemia and to assure those that are having second thoughts that it’s OK to change your mind.
Calling off my wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I still feel horrible for breaking Jackson’s heart- but I’m very happy with my choice to marry Andrew and I don’t doubt that this is the right decision for me.
Trust your heart ladies… it’s rarely wrong