Post # 1
I am a regualr poster/reader on the bee and have decided to go “undercover” for some advice
I should start with a little over two years ago my dad left my mom for another women.. it was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through and I still struggle with it on a daily basis.
I have never had trust issues EVER up until the past couple months and its like a brick wall hit me to trust nobody..even the people that mean the most to me and have never given me a reason not to trust them.. my boyfriend of a little over two years has been helping me through it however there is only so much he can do as well.
The other night when my boyfriend was sleeping I decided to look through his phone.. i know snooping is bad…you dont have to tell me twice;) I do this quite a bit and never find anything and he is aware I look through his phone and thinks I dont trust him.. I have told him several times that I do it when I am bored and trust isnt issue until he turns it into it and it stops at that. Anyway when I was looking through it I found that he was talking naked pictures of himself. I thought it was super weird being we have both discussed that we dont sent pictures of ourself naked..just because.. Yesterday after work I brought it up and he totally denied the pictures. Acted like he had know Idea I was talking about and asked me if I was dreaming…I can honestly say I was not dreaming!!When I went to look at his phone he had deleted them and has now turned it around on me. It really isnt that big of a deal that he took pictures of himself..he can do what ever he wants however when he lies to my face (he is a terrible lier btw) it makes me think he is doing something he shouldnt be doing and also makes me wonder what else he is lying about..
Part of me just wants to drop it and move on, but i know i can not do that until this is resolved.. Any advice would be great! Thanks!:)
Post # 3
… he was obviously very embarassed. I would be too.
that said now, do you have any REASON to believe he took them to do something with them? Such as…. send them to other women or men?
btw: I’m not buying it for 1 second you do it “because you’re bored” or that “it isn’t a trust issue”
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
So you know he was lying. Either he was doing it for sh**s and giggles or…. you know what Im going to say next. Now you need to decide what you’re going to do.
Post # 5
Drop him. He’s lying and covering up something. Even if he’s not cheating, you don’t take naked pictures for no reason. You take them to send them to someone else. You have trust issues you need to resolve on your own and he shouldn’t be trusted anyway. I have a coworker who was getting naked pictures from an engaged man. I’m sure his FI never knew it was going on. She was in a relationship, so she never let it get any further. Would he have cheated? I’m sure, if the opportunity arose. Even if he wouldn’t have, why is he talking to other girls that way anyway – it’s not appropriate. You don’t put yourself in a position to cheat. Sorry, but I think you need to do 2 things – drop him and figure out your trust issues.
Post # 6
The first thing that popped into my mind is that I doubt anyone takes naked pictures of themself just for fun. Sorry, but this just wouldnt sit right with me. I’d probably dig deeper into phone records to see if/where it was sent to.
Post # 7
well, although you already know snooping is wrong, that is a huge trust issue. No one snoops thru someone else’s phone because they are “bored.” And it is wrong of him to take naked pics of himself if they aren’t being sent to you. This is a big trust issue that can protentially break your relationship as time goes by. Its only going to get worse if you don’t trust. Especially your bf. Of course you know you shouldn’t have snoop, but you found something that makes you question his actions. And now I think you need to get that resolved and work on your trust issues.
Post # 8
You got trust issues and he’s a liar, BAD COMBINATION
Post # 9
So you look through his phone, because you are bored? But you completely trust him?
Would you like to buy this bridge I’m selling too?
Post # 11
@pinkshoes: Agreed. It think my FI took a picture of himself once and then ASKED me to look at a picture on his phone. I freaked out and he laughed about it. Thats the only time i can think of it being for a laugh.
Sorry. Dig deeper and find something concrete.
Post # 12
While embarassing for him for sure, it is sketchy and a bit alarming.
I’m not sure what your living situation is or how intertwined your lives are, but I would work on distancing yourself a bit until you can get a more concrete grip on what is going on!
I’m sorry this is happening to you , take care of yourself hun!
Post # 13
@vmec: +1 on the embarassment.
I disagree with the PPs who are instantly trying to turn this into an issue of him possibly cheating, which is obviously what PPs are getting at. I do some things in private to kinda inspect myself and groom that I would be horrified if DH saw me doing. You snooped for absolutely no reason, embarassed him, and now you’re putting him int he hot seat over it. I think you’re the one in the wrong here.
Post # 14
I’m really sorry that your upset, but if you go looking for trouble, you’ll usually find it…guys are weird sometimes, the naked pictures could have been for something totally innocent…strange and bizarre, but innocent.
Post # 15
This is why this world sucks. AshleyMadison.com? The ability to easily take a naked picture of yourself and text it to someone? It’s getting harder and harder to trust because technology is making it easier and easier to cheat. That said, when you are truly in love and respect your partner, this type of lying and shady business is something you only read about on the internet 🙁 I would think twice about this relationship, 100%
if nothing else, he would be too immature for me. Taking naked pics of yourself is something you do when you’re drunk, stoned, single, horny, etc.
Post # 16
I don’t really believe him taking the pictures just for fun. I would try to find out where they were sent.
Also, I don’t believe you for saying you were snooping just because you were bored.. sounds like trust issues :/