I. called it off Long Post

posted 6 months ago in 30 Something
Post # 2
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

You’ve dodged a massive, massive bullet there Bee.  Let yourself grieve the relationship, then move on – you’re absolutely right, you deserve so much better.  Good on you for doing the right thing for YOU.

Post # 4
111 posts
Blushing bee

Take some time to be upset and angry, but afterwards, pick yourself up and don’t give up. You deserve kindness, and you will find it. I had to be subjected to not one, not two, but four major heartbreaks before I found my fiance. And looking back, all of the shitty things happened so that I would be at the right place, at the right moment to meet my fiance. He is so kind, loving, and nothing like the boys before him. 

You will be ok!

Post # 5
216 posts
Helper bee

Not much to say except to offer some hugs. It hurts now, but it seems you know he wasn’t right for you. Take some time to yourself, so you’ll be more confident and can spot red flags in your next relationship.

Your family should be offering you support as well, not making fun at your expense.

Post # 6
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

You do deserve better, and you’ll find it now that this idiot is out of the way. It’s awful when the rug gets pulled out from under you, and it’s ok to be sad and angry. After a while, you’ll start to feel better, and that’s when you pick yourself up and find someone who’s worthy of your love.

 My ex absolutely ripped my heart out and stomped on it, I didn’t think things would ever be good again, but I did go on and I did get over it. You will too. I’m now with someone who’s infinitely better.

You got this bee!

Post # 7
400 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry, what you’ve been through sounds deeply painful and humiliating. Dont let this affect your self-esteem and your sense of being worthy onl your own. Please take some time to figure out what went wrong in the last two engagements and more importantly, what was your part in it.

There are always red flags, pay attention to the ones you missed so that next time, you’ll be ready to do a better job of separating the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

Dont rush into thinking the next man is the One. Really pay attention to things with your head and not get emtionally involved too soon. Remember a woman has to think twice, once for herself and second for her future children. 

Your family shouldnt be making jokes, and you can tell them nicely that it hurts enough without their teasing. Ask them for their support in this time. You are kindhearted and trusting, both those things are great to have in a life partner with the right person.

Best of luck for the future.

Post # 8
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Oh bee hugs to you. Your family is being awful to you. They should be there to support you right now. I am just glad you found the courage to leave him now before you married him. Take time for yourself to mourn the loss. 

Post # 9
8742 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

callmelately :  Wow-  I am sorry for the pain you must be going though but it sounds like you dodged a massive bullet. Better to have two “failed” engagements than two divorces under your belt! 

Post # 10
323 posts
Helper bee

The end of a relationship is always hard, but this is truly for the best! You’re lucky his sister had your back. You will find someone so much better than this lame dude.

Post # 11
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

callmelately :  WOW what an asshole, PLEASE do not get back together with this loser. His sister is right, you can do way better.

Post # 12
3796 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Awe, I’m so sorry you’re hurting OP! Thank goodness for his sister! Don’t be ashamed about ending a relationship with someone once you knew it wasnt right for you. You trusted him and he failed you in a major way, that’s on him, not you! Your family should hae you back and be supportive and encouraging, not judging you. If they arent supportive, maybe take a step back from those relationships and surround yourself with people who life you up. Hugs to you!

Post # 13
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

You did the right thing. Now go out and work on yourself. I am sure the last thing you want is to keep dating guys with those kinds of red flags. You didn’t give us much detail but it does look like he was sketchy early on. Why did you accept a proposal from him in the first place? Work on you, get to a place where you are proud of yourself so that you won’t accept less than you deserve. There is someone out there who will cherish you! 

Post # 14
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Sorry this happened to you. At least the jerk was shameful enough to tell you outright that he is using you. Otherwise, you might have held on for longer. Glad you are rid of him.


“Remember a woman has to think twice, once for herself and second for her future children.”

Odd comment. Not every woman can or wants to have children, and shouldn’t men be thinking of their future children as well?

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