(Closed) I called it off :(

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
4211 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im so sorry 🙁

Post # 18
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

Sorry you’re going through this!  We’re here for you.:(

Post # 20
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry.

I used to work at a vintage clothing boutique and can recall multiple times where women would come in, going through something similar, and would buy themselves a really cute right hand ring to “celebrate” their choice to lookout for themselves. Of course, it was just a way to ease the feelings kicked up when you have to give up a ring and idea that you’ve grown acustomed to.

I hope you find a way to ease into more comfort and confidence in your decision. You not only did what was right for you but also what was respectful for him and his child. He may not see that right now, but in the long run that will seem very obvious to everyone involved.

Post # 21
Member
10097 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I think you are very wise to listen to your own intuition.  If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.

Everyone will get over it & go on with their own lives–try not to let nosy people get to you.

I pulled the plug on my wedding to FH about 5 yrs ago.  I knew it wasn’t right.  He didn’t ask for the ring back & I found out he always believed it would happen.  Now it is.  The timing wasn’t right back then.  I’m glad I called it off.  And glad he toughed it out.

Nobody ever mentions it now.

Post # 22
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Chin up … this beats being stuck in a miserable marriage and the cost/hassle of filing for a divorce!!!

Post # 23
Member
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am so sorry. I don’t know what I could say that the others haven’t so I will just send you warm thoughts and good wishes. (((HUGS)))

Post # 24
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

You did the right thing, not just for you but for your ex-FI too. It really sucks now…but you’ll both be happier in the long run. *BIG HUGS*

Post # 25
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@colors: That’s great advice.

OP, don’t shoulder this burden alone.

Post # 26
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

What a hard thing to go through, I can’t even imagine…I am so sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like you made the wise and smart decision to follow your gut instinct. I’m sure things will work out for the better after this difficult time. *hugs*

Post # 27
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If he gave it to you on a Holiday Legally you can keep it.  Just an FYI. 

It sounds pretty rough. If you went with your gut that it was probably the best decision.  I wish you the best and I will pray for you!

Post # 28
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Sorry that you’re going through the tough time.  There’s not much else I can say that already hasn’t been send, so I’m sending you good thoughts.  

Post # 29
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I know that this is really hard because I’ve been there.  I called off my first engagement 6 years ago.  I too had moved to his home town, given up my friends and family and job to be with him.  Things just weren’t right.  So I packed up and moved him and then a few months later ended the relationship.  It was hard because I felt guilty and ashamed.  I felt like I was a failure and then you have the normal grieving process of any relationship ending.  For me, I moved into a one bedroom apartment.  Bought the furniture I wanted and the car I wanted.  I started going out with my old girlfriends that I hadn’t seen in quite sometime.  I took mini-vacations with them and most importantly I learned more about myself.  I went on dates with guys for about 3 years.  Nothing serious.  Then one day I met my husband.  We dated for 3 years before he proposed and then got married this past spring.  I’m so glad I made that fateful decision 6 years ago.  My life is full of all these wonderful people that I love and would have missed out on over the years.  I have a wonderful business and hobbies of my own.  You too will find these things in time.  Just take the time to do things for yourself.

If you need to talk please PM me.

Things will get better and you will find your way!

Vintage

Post # 31
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Breakups are hard. It sounds like you have some positive goals and plans up ahead, though, and that’s great! Hang in there and I’m sure you’ll feel the relief settle in soon once you can wrap your head around what just happened and what brought you to that point to begin with. 🙂

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