(Closed) I called it off :(

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Double post! But yeah, continue to move on and be happy. 🙂

Post # 33
299 posts
Helper bee

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. As someone who has recently gone through a really bad breakup, I can tell you, it does get better. Take one day at a time. And make a point to do something nice for yourself every single day. Paint your nails, take a bubble bath, watch a girly movie. Do things for you for a chance, and enjoy it! 

Keep strong, but don’t beat yourself up if you have weak moments, because believe me, you will have them. But trust yourself and know you made the right decision for your future.

When the right guy comes along (and he will) you will see the huge difference. My SO is an incredible man and would give anything for me. For once I am not the person in the relationship making all the sacrifices. You deserve someone who adores you.


Post # 34
83 posts
Worker bee

Agree with the above suggestions.  Again, there are days when it will be tough, where you will feel like the bad guy.  Since this was my first major breakup, with an engagement involved to boot, it feels like my world is caving in at times.  It sort of is, but don’t let it stop you. 

It sounds as though you’re able to pursue the things you may not have otherwise.  Take advantage of this time.  Call people who are willing to listen.  Take up a hobby, start a blog, read a great book, or just buy a bottle of wine and take a fork to the pan of brownies and have at it.

I’m not a fan of cliches but I have to believe that what will be will be.  That with time, things will work themselves out (time heals all wounds).  Trust that there will be good days and bad days and mixed days.  Just take the time you need to sort this out.  You are on no one else’s timeline but your own.

Post # 35
447 posts
Helper bee


Hey…I can imagine (I’m a guy).

What should make you feel better is that people are very understanding.  This happens all the time.

You might even smile when people ask you and say “Yeah…I called it off.  It just didn’t seem that it was going to work out.”  If you are smiling, it will avoid the pity cycle.

When they respond “Oh sorry”, you can respond.  “It’s OK.  It was for the best.”  Keep a positive mind.  If you seem very sad then people will be sad for you which could make you sadder.

Don’t feel sad.  If for some reason it was meant to be, it will happen later.  Remember your soulmate is out there (if you believe in such things).  After a relationsip of 3 and 1/2 years ended I stopped believing which really killed my spirit.  I believe again.  If you keep in mind that your real soulmate is saying “Whew…I’m on my way…hold on,” you’ll be just fine…happy even…and trust me…he’s on his way!

Post # 36
299 posts
Helper bee

@Socrates: I like the last part you said.

My SO now always says, “Geez what took you so long to get here!”

Post # 37
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

After having gone thru a rough divorce quite a long while ago, I can tell you that you’re doing the right thing!

Although having my son was one of the two best decisions in my life (other marryingT), I wish I had some inkling of what my ex was capable of doing.

If something isn’t right it simply isn’t right.  Do something special for yourself.  How about also designate a friend or your mom to call the vendors and take care of the stuff you’re feeling overwhelmed with right now?

Peace comes in time.  Of course you’re upset.  But it is much easier than divorcing.  I wish you every bit of love and happiness.

You will find the right guy in time.  Love happens when you least expect it.  Just focus on you, do something very nice for yourself, know we’re giving you a cyber hug, and know also you will survive this.     

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