- anne B
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
My partner and i have been together for 15 years, and it has not all been plain sailing. its been rough at times, very rough. then last year it got rougher for me when i was diagnosed with breast cancer. luckily for me they found it early enough for me to only need a lumpectomy and radio therepy…..
6 months after my BC, i began to feel like i needed to make a change in my life, i didnt know what, but i would know it when it came to me.
i wanted to be married. it hit me like a ton of bricks in the hospital when the nurse asked my FI to sign something. she called him my husband and he corrected her, to which she then told him he could not sign the forms as he was not my next of kin.
this got us thinking, and this is one of the reasons we decided to marry.
i had a friend, who is brilliant at photography, but we parted as friends a year ago after an stupid argument. and a few months prior to that i took her wedding photographs when she re-married her first husband…..
so i spoke to Fiance and jokingly said if i was still speaking to XXXXX she would take our wedding photoographs, to which he replied…..if you invite her then there will be no wedding! WTF??? first red flag.
I asked my daughter, his 2 daughters and my sons girlfriend to be my bridesmaids, and after he found out, he asked me why i had asked my sons girlfriend when i KNOW DAMN WELL he doesnt like her?
i told him it was the brides perogative to choose the bridesmaids, and she was my sons girlfriend and i WANTED her to be my bridesmaid anyway!
he told me that unless i told her that she COULD NOT be a bridesmaid after all…..there will be no wedding…..
And then i’m afraid my temper exploded!!!!!!!!!
i told him that if all it takes is for one girl in a pretty dress to call off the wedding, then he was pathetic and possibly looking for a way out anyway! given that he had told me this TWICE …..(remember my ex-friend)
HOW ON EARTH can i un-bridesmaid this girl? even if i wanted to…..which i dont! she then would not come to the wedding because of it, then my son would not come…..is this what he wants? to pull my family apart?
so i told him NO more need to keep threatening to call the wedding off, cos as far as i am concerned……the wedding is not only cancelled, but we are also over.
I am NOT going to let him hurt my sons feelings, or mine, and i wont let him manipulate me. he keeps texting now me telling me he loves me…..
too little too late .
but i will say this……what Breast cancer did for me is …..they may have taken a small part of my breast away, but in its place they put a little bit of fire! and never before have i felt this determined and strong……..and i just looked him straight in the eye and said……FUCK YOU! i guess you can safely say he has got the message.
after being with him for 15 years this is gonna be tough, i know it will, but i am a survivor, Cancer didnt kill me, neither will this!
i know he had it tough as a child, his mum committed suicide when he was 17, thats got to be tough, but he is 50 now, and he has got to know that none of that was my fault, i have always shown him love and respect and have been very caring towards him, and rarely recieved anything back. yet i still get the feeling that he is as stubborn as he is because he doesnt trust me…..or women in general. and after 15 years…..if he doesnt now, he never will.