Post # 14
*hugs* You sound very strong girl! You are right, you need some rest and just let it absorb. You don’t need someone who is always going to threaten to call off the wedding for stupid shit. What happens when you are married? Is he going to threaten to call off the marriage because he didn’t like a certain dinner guest?
Post # 15
i cant believe i have been with him 15 years, and only had an engagement ring 13 days and its over….
ah well, shit happens i suppose……
Post # 16
thank you, maybe i am stronger on the outside, and i really did rip his head off today…..but inside is a bit of a mess right now……
but i havent really cried……so doesnt that tell you something after 15 years?
Post # 17
I know everybody is saying it, but I had to say it too: Good for you! Standing up for yourself is a brave thing to do and it sets the stage for future happiness, even if things feel crappy right now!
Post # 18
i keep thinking of that line from the film ‘drop dead fred’
I dont need a man to complete my life….i’m perfect the way that i am….and i hate Andy! (my FI)
Post # 19
Sprinkling glitter on a turd! That is priceless.
In all seriousness though Good for you! You do NOT need to put up with that kind of treatement. No person should. When you are in a relationship and planning marriage, family, in my opinion, is a big part of that. Your son will always be your son, who he is with, you may not like, but as parents you accept it and just do what you can to protect them.
I am glad you are stepping up and protecting yourself too now!
Not to say this wont be tough, because 15 years is a long time… but if you can get through cancer… you can get through this!!
Post # 20
thank you so much…..you echo my thoughts entirely……this should be a walk in the park…..
i hope so.
Post # 21
I just wanted to say that I admire your strength and determination to do what is right for you! That takes real courage! It sounds like you’ll be just fine!
Post # 22
So many times I have heard stories of women being treated horribly by their Fiance, only to marry them and then instantly regret it.
I find it inspiring that you were able to recognize manipulative behavior and make the decision to end an obviously toxic relationship. Sounds like he’s been pushing people away from you for a long time.
Thanks for sharing your story! I hope all women who are in the same type of manipulative relationship can take a second look and do the right thing.
Post # 24
thank you….i hope so too….
but you know it took 15 years to work this out…..and only when we were wedding planning did it really piss me off to the point where it needed addressing…i probably just pushed it to the back of my mind before, but marriage is such a big change , and it just mattered more, and i couldnt let it go, and why the hell should i? its my life too, and it WAS my wedding too…….so why should HE call all the shots? nah!
AND i really think last years illness stood me in good stead for whats happening in my life now….
Post # 25
Good for you! You are an inspiration for standing up to yourself. I wish you a healthy healing process. Be sure to continue to take care of yourself and reach out to your support system as you untangle your life from your ex-fiance’s.
Post # 26
my son and daughter will never know the true reason this happened, because i could never hurt them like that, and his two daughters wont be told either, because i love them too much to let them know it was their fathers fault that we are no longer together ……they were so excited when they heard about the wedding. they are 21 & 25 and i have always thought of them as my own….even though they never lived with us i still loved them and respected them, whatever they did. i just wish he had shown my kids the same respect. and upsetting their partners means he had not one ounce of respect for my kids feelings. fuck him!
my kids are my flesh and blood…..he is just a man…..
Post # 27
I am amazed at your strength! You have an amazing outlook and attitude. Good job! I am sending you hugs, because I’m sure you need them right now 🙂
Post # 28
@anne B: WOW. I am taken by you story and impressed by you. When something like BC comes along, it puts so much into perspective. We realize what we will and will not stand for, and it is that much clearer and a more direct path to arrive those decisions. May you have clear skies and happiness ahead.