(Closed) I can feel the proposal coming but can’t get over the past…,,

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think that you made it through that year together says a lot.

And I think, in any relationship, you end up having things you’ll feel bad about forever, things said or done in a moment of anger. I deal with those things by learning from them and promising myself they’ll never happen again. (Like the slapping, for example. Domestic violence is never, ever acceptable, no matter who is doing the hitting. So you need to learn ways of expressing your anger without hitting your partner and you need to make a promise to yourself that it will never, ever happen again.)

Good luck, it’s hard to get past the crappy things you’ve done; it’s part of living, I think, building up those regrets.

Post # 4
595 posts
Busy bee

I know what you mean. The thing is, you need to take what you learned from that bad year and use it so that it never happens again. You made it through a rough patch in your relationship, which not all couples do. You are stronger now on the other side and like you said your relationship is great right now. Focus on that and moving forward. Also, I think it would be a good idea to have a chat with you Boyfriend or Best Friend about your feelings, just so you are on the same page. You can discuss what you both need to do/keep doing in order to not fall back into that place you were in your bad year. I think talking about it with him will ease a lot of your worry. 

Good luck! 

Post # 5
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it’s normal to kinda panic and worry if it’s the right move to make.  I also think that a lot of relationships (mine included) hit a rocky road.  It happens, it’s a test and it sounds like you both passed it.  I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself about it.  Just learn from it.  Our 4th year of dating was the tough one.  I think it made us stronger, as cliche as that sounds.  But it does.  Maybe you can try couples counseling?  That way you can be sure that you’re actively ironing out your differences before you’re married. 

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