(Closed) I can hear our downstairs neighbors having sex! Best way to handle this?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 16
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Maui

A neighbor came and rang my doorbell once when I was having sex with the windows open on a hot summer night. That shut me up and made me more aware of the noise I was making from that point on.

Post # 17
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I am loud, quiet to me just doesn’t “work” lol! but I keep that for when no one is in the apartment around us that can hear. Leave an annonymous note… mention that you have sleep issues during these times and it is affecting you at work.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  snowflake2016.
Post # 18
Member
9374 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m sorry, but there are about 53 ways to handle this before having to call the cops — some PPs have great ideas: try to drown out the noise, place an anonymous letter under their door, even stopping by in the middle of the act to politely tell the landlord that you’re hearing “strange noises coming from her apartment” would tip her off. 

If it were me, I wouldn’t want to risk pissing off a landlord (who has access to my apartment and could make my life a living hell) by calling the cops on her without even trying to handle it civilly and politely first.

Post # 19
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

newbabybee: I’m pretty vanilla in the bedroom, but it’s pretty appalling that you’re shaming people for the way they have sex. Who are you to say that the best sex is quiet, kissing sex? Lots of people don’t find “making love” the most enjoyable type of sex and there’s nothing wrong with that, like…at all. It could go the opposite way – people who don’t express themselves in bed vocally don’t have a partner who is skilled enough to bring it out of them. There’s nothing wrong with this lady having loud sex, except she lives in a shitty apartment and is doing it late at night. 

And calling the cops over this is seriously dumb. No one is on drugs or harming anyone else. They have more important things to be doing. 

Post # 20
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve been the offender. My ex and I were going at it and I heard from across the alley through the open window “SHUT UP!” I nearly died but my boyfriend was sure proud of himself.

Leave an anonymous note: “Walls are thin. Please keep it down after 10pm. :)”. Be sure to include the smiley face.

Post # 21
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

Seriously, it’s 30 minutes 2-3 times a week! You can’t just let them do their thing & move on?

Post # 22
Member
7448 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

newbabybee:  calling the cops and reporting a woman screaming when you know full well it’s just sex noises… Instead of just putting on your big girl panties and talking to your neighbor? That’s probably the last thing the OP should do.

Post # 23
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I’m probably a bad person, but…

The last time I had this problem, many years ago, I responded by jumping up and down on my bed, yelling about how I really got off on how all the neighbours could hear everything I was (not) doing, and asking my giggling friends to “spank me harder”…

Not sure I’d do that now that I am older and wiser, but it was really quite funny at the time. It also solved the problem…

Post # 24
Member
7681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mrssocal:  I know that you are trying to sleep, but if you really don’t want to address the issue with a polite note,  what about putting your music up loud for a brief time.  They’ll probably get the hint.  

 

Post # 25
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee

newbabybee:  Agree to disagree on the loud sex thing then. As PPs have pointed out quiet just doesn’t work for some people, and in fact for me it’s a turn off when I have to hold it all in.

Let the woman have her fun. Calling the cops on her would be a ridiculous waste of resources. They aren’t hurting anybody, it isn’t the middle of the night (I get that people have to be up early but 10pm is not that late).

Post # 26
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee

mrssocal:  I’m from a big city and lived in an apartmemt for a while. Wear plugs, headphones, or turn music on. You live in an apartment. If you can’t hack it: move to a more rural area where your current rent can cover a townhouse or a house. Or pay more to move to the top floor of your apartment complex. 

Post # 27
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Get ear plugs.  I’m sure they’re tired of hearing things that you do, too.

Post # 28
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

mrssocal:  I wouldn’t call the cops…doesn’t seem necessary..

A friend of mine had this problem…they have a 2 yr old who was been woken up by their downstairs neighbors have very loud sex nightly. She would wake up and run to her parents room asking what the people were doing…

They left an anonymous note on the persons door….apparently it helped!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  khaleesi.
Post # 29
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

Minimalist:  LOL!  I’m glad someone else has admitted to being an offender.  I have too.  I was dating a guy at the time who was a SEX. GOD.  No kidding! It was like he was straight out of a trashy romance novel: chemistry, stamina, really well endowed, etc.  Anyhoo, I didn’t even realize I was making noise until one of his neighbors banged on his wall.  I was embarassed, but of course he just laughs, covers my mouth and starts going harder.  They also left a rude note on his door.

She probably doesn’t realize she’s being that loud and would be more considerate if she knew.  I would put a polite note on her door.  I’m sure she’ll stop.

Post # 30
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

newbabybee:  How about we let the police take care of real emergencies and not knocking on the door of a couple having loud sex. 

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