(Closed) I can see this fall apart soon.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I honestly do think that all of these problems are fixable, but he needs to know that he needs to change.  These problems aren’t so bad that you need to walk away immediately, but they are bad enough that down the line, they’ll turn into something you do need to walk away from.  

Yea… it might be a good idea to call his bluff.  Things won’t get better unless he thinks something is wrong.  Counseling will do no good if he refuses to believe he is wrong.  

Post # 4
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That sure is a long list of things to be worked on before the wedding. Why did you go through with it if nothing has changed? I understand therapy can be expensive but couldn’t the wedding have been postponed until these things were worked on? The wedding money would have been well spent if it meant he bettered himself, therefore bettering the relationship.

Post # 5
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Ok, you knew all of this before you married him, so now his problems are your problems.  It’s not fair, it won’t be easy and sometimes things are going to get downright ugly…this is marriage.  You have a real good handle on his reactions to certain situations, how about yours? All things aside, you’ve got two choices:  stick it out or head for higher ground.  Neither is better than the other, do what’s best for you, but if you love this man,truly love him, you guys will find a way, and whatever happens, leave his mother out of your marriage.

Post # 6
Member
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

obviously this laundry list of things to work on prior to marriage was not all that important if you married him anyways.  it sounds like a very volatile relationship that needs a lot of work.  the two of you should be enjoying marital bliss. 

Post # 7
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

As a frequent poster on the site, I have read your other posts and there is a ton of evidence to support you didn’t want to get married, but did anyway. Time to start trusting your gut!

I know also that you had never lived with him previously, and I can see that you are in over your head and being that close to him 24/7 is quite overwheming to you.

If he wont work with you, and you have a serious adult discussion then there is nothing you can do.

We all make mistakes and get the chance to learn from them! I’m sorry your going throught this, and I wish you the best!

Post # 8
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Eva Peron:  Agreed.  This sounds like a miserable situation.  Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten married but now you are.  

So you are going to have to figure out whats best for you but it sounds like you had your mind made up before the wedding and you went through with it anyway.  Best of luck to you.  Worse comes to worse maybe you can get an annulment and take a lot of time off from dating to be single for a while.

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